I know that some of my friends are questioning my 'liking"on girls...and some of them even make a statement of me being "gay" in the sense of not having a girlfriend even at this age...!!! haha :-p
Just to make everything clear...I am straight :-)
But gosh...i really did came a long way didn't I?...and it does torn me a bit to see how the world spins without me being in the motion....
"Marriage is in the air" and for some reason, I'm breathing the same air as them...but why doesn't it sparks me like everyone else (before....)? :-(Well, to tell the truth, the reason of me being so cool about all this "marriage" thing is because before this, I've been living in a fairy land where everything seems perfect....
The land is greener...the people are warmer...and the air is sweeter...but guess what? as my age teaches me for these past years...all of those so-called "fairy material" does not exist (conventionally)....
~but only God knows how much i want it to be true~
The Old Me...!!!
I once told one or two of my best friend of "what kind of girl material that I want..." and their answer is always the same...."you're living in a dream..." or "there is no such women..." haha :-pBut there are some whom supported me and says stuff like "it suppose to be like that..." and "she's out there somewhere...waiting for you..." :-)
Then it struck me...that every time when we seek for an answer from someone...make sure that we find the person whom have the same problem as us...if not...their answer won't satisfy you like what you are hoping for :-( like what I've experience before...and it is ugly guys....
The Dream....!!!
When I at my teenage prime...I used to dream of "her"....and how she would look-a-like...!!! It does bugs me sometimes because every time I have that "dream"...her appearance changes...her skin color...her figure...her hair...her hands...(sometimes she is black...what does it accounted for..???) haha :-pBut one thing that haven't change even up until now is her eyes...her beautiful eyes that seems full of confidence..determination...self-respect...independent...loyalty...and many more which I have only few to mention...I don't know what it means by it...but it seems that the girl in my dream is not like any other girl that I've met before....
For some reason..that dream hunted me from time to time...even though her physical changes a lot in my dreams...but it seems that one thing is certain...that her eyes that sees me will never waver... :-)
The Message...!!!
If you are out there somewhere...feeling that there is someone is waiting for you...someone whom will be the only one for you...a person whom will cherish your every weaknesses...a person whom look at you not only with his eyes (but his heart)...someone whom will always be there for you...for you glory or defeat...someone who will wipe off your tears...and cheer you up till the morning rises...someone whom will sing you lullaby before sleep and smiles at your when you wake up...someone who will always appreciate your every stupidity and yet says that you're amazing just the way you are..........just wait for that person....because there is a reason why that feeling arise...and there is a reason why other people seems unfit...it does not mean that you are picky or proud about your love life...it just means that your heart already decide your love for you...and your heart knows you best...just remember...every man has only but half of their heart to spare...the other half are put inside another soul in which you need to find for yourself...it is a "puzzle of life" that only you can complete it...and when you did...you'll know the true meaning of "knowing" and "feeling" unlike you've did before... :-)
~Good Luck~
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