Me & Singing...!!!

It goes way back...!!!
I still remember those time where my sister and I were fighting over "who's can sing better..." :-) we would sing our favorite songs and decided among ourselves whether we are good enough to be a singer or not? but my lil sis always says that she is (but apparently she's not...) haha :-p

Michael Buble is my favorite english singer of all time

My late-father on the other hand were very inspirational...i mean...that old man can sing..!!! haha
I guess i pick up where he left it...and kept it to myself...he would sing songs from his "golden times" like Elvis Preisley's...Jonny Cash's...and Frank Sinatra's...and we were all like so impressed with his voice.... (but now it seems like his old cracked voice does serve him well when he sings those songs...) haha :-p
My mom is not much of a singer...but she does listens to my dad's every time he does it...either at the kicthen's...the living room's...or in bed...haha It was like and old records that never stops playing all over again and again :-) sometimes we even have to ask him to "stop singing..!!!!"
But now since his gone...i kinda miss his voice :-( i really do....!!!

My First Open Session...!!!
During my high-school's day, i always have this urge to sing in front of a large crowd...!!! gracefully showing off my vocal is what i was hoping for but i never could actually get the chance...!!! I mean, i have the will to do it, but it seems that every time i see a large crowds, i would get terrified and nervous for no reasons (even though when other people are performing...) haha :-)

Always admire Anuar Zain for his superb vocal control

So, when the time comes (my school suddenly hold this open session for all students) i just grab it without any holding back...i was like "this is it...!!! maybe this is my time to shine...) then i registered as a participant and wait for the day to arrive...but in the mean time, i was like trying so hard to fight this "butterflies" in my stomach...i do a lot of secret training in the shower (and my dorm-mate was like "he's crazy...") haha
When the day arrives, i'm so confident that i can woe the crowd with my so-called "beautiful" voice...i choose my all time favorite tracks which is the Westlife's greatest hits....and confidently stand on the stage...i can clearly see my teachers sitting down...and some clapping from those who knows me...not to mention those "hater" which never knew that i could "sing" :-p
So, when the tracks starts to play, i was like "this is it wan...this is what you always wanted..." and starts to sing...at the first two verse i think i did great...all the melody rhymes well...but when the chorus starts to kick in..my voice were like off the rails...and when i starts to put a high pitch tone, i can see the judges were like "covering their ears...and do this "i can't stand his voice-face expression"...haha and guess what...i lost :-(
Going back empty handed doesn't seems to bother me much..but having the idea that "I suck..." is the hardest part...

I Didn't Stop...I Never Stop...!!!

This new singer (Afgan) will be the next big thing

Up until now, those "first" always teaches me on how far that I've come and how long does the journey takes me...I can finally understand what people's see in "singing" and how the vocalic piece can actually impacted one soul...because it does impacted mine...and i'm pretty sure that the other also been effected for the same cause...
After that session ended...i did try to enter a couple of open mic session but it seems that fate doesn't wanted me to be in those event much...I did however try to apply for participation in this one national singing competition, but my dad didn't allow it...(i did sulk for a week because of what he did) but i guess in the end, i can't run away from it because now...i'm doing it...and i'm doing it in front of a quite a huge crowd like i always wanted...for me..its good enough to be thankful for...its worth every seconds of the waiting's...and it most definitely good enough for all those countless time standing in front of the television and admiring those singer that i admire...!!!
I am happy with this...I truly do...!!!

   

Please Be With Me...!!!

The Teh Tarik Break...!!!

A couple of days before, i just had an afternoon "teh tarik" break with my good friend...we just finish our class and suddenly the urge to have some time off appears...We had a laugh on how long it has been since we first enter the university...and how gruesome the "fight" to finish it...and when you've already at your final hurdle like mine...those memory become sweeter every minutes it passes away...haha
Well, we did enjoy those moment which i know that i will remembered it on the next ten of fifteen year later...
Even though it just a short four years of our meeting...but i think me and my other classmate has gain a more cherish-able moment then we think we have :-)
Being with all of them makes me realize how important friends is...and how lucky you are to have them besides you...i didn't mean that every road is smooth..we did accouter some hurdle along the way...but i guess we manage to overcome it one by one..."Rome isn't build in a day" right? haha  

The Advice...!!!
Some of my friend already married by this time around..and that somehow makes me be kind of jealous a bit by their so-called "achievement" in life...some appear to have saggy faces after the marriage..and some just give a plain "i don't care" facial expressions...i guess they have it either tough or just something so great to even be talking about when we are hanging out...haha but it does show on your faces tweerks... :-p
This one friend of mine (which also share the same face expression of a tired old grand dad) once give me an advice about "marriage" which make me thinking a lot about how it suppose to go about...
He says "Love is not the interpretation of "marriage"...its a commitment that you've made to that special someone in your life...marriage is just simply tying the knot..no more..or no less..."
He, (which already receive his first baby born almost two months ago) got a little bit tired from all this commitment thingy but doesn't seems to have even a slightest doubts of his decision on marrying someone so early...he said "god has given me His blessing to do this earlier than everybody else for a reason..." and trust me..he did stand on his ground when he say "I love her..." :-)

I Want That...!!!
Seeing him (which I've known before as a little bit of a playboy-reincarnation) make this oath on "commitment" does impact me in the sense of building my own...hearing him saying how those sleepless night and greens-get-burn doesn't even bother him really makes me wonder how much "loving" someone changes you in a way which you never imagine yourself to be...
"Yes...we fights...we argue...we dissatisfied with each other doings sometimes...but it doesn't mean that i hate her...its just a process of me knowing her...because when you married to someone...that persons "true color" will appear....it doesn't mean that they stop caring how you care about their attitudes or bad habits...it just simply means that they feel really comfortable being around you to the extend of being their true self is what's left to do...."
I guess that is love in its truest form for him...seeing his baby growing right in front of his eyes and watching over his wife smiles day by day is the greatest things that's ever happen to him...
I want that....i really do :-) 

    

Say Something...!!!

Before its too late...!!!
Some of us most probably experience something like this...those awful times when you've lost someone that you cherish and adore...someone whom means everything to you...someone whom you look up for the most...someone whom you want to impress...someone whom you want to spend the rest of your life together with....someone whom makes you feel alive...someone whom makes you see the world differently...someone whom gives you hopes and dreams...someone whom felt everything too you...those "someone" which you think will always stay forever in your life...but sadly disappear...maybe because of your own fault...or maybe its just fate...But those "someone" will always stay inside your heart...just to be love...and cherish..like how they suppose to be...before :-)
I have regrets...regrets that will never go away...simply because i want to forget about them...because deep down inside...i know that i should have done better...I should have said "I love you..." or "Please forgive me..." when i still have the chance...but now i guess its too late...

We don't know...!!!
Yes...!!! its a good argument to say "we'll never know what's gonna happen...." but will you take the risk? Will you let your time spend together fade away just because your negligence of putting those "someone" first on your list?
Be it, "secret admirer" whom often seeking for the right moment to tell that they like that "someone"....or "dying father" whom waiting for the right moment to tell his son how much he misses him...we will always wonder when will that "right moment" gonna come...right?
We are the ones whom suppose to create those "openings" instead of waiting for it...fate will decide but clearly the end prove to be determine by ones heart...not others...
If only I've been given a chance to turn back time...i would say that there is a bundle of things that i wanted to say too my dad...before he's gone...gone forever to the place where i can never reach him any more...or those times where my first "crush" is still around...i might get a second chance :-p
But what's the used of regretting the things in the past right? but i always wonder.."what if..."

The heart that listens...!!!
Have you ever feel something which you felt real but turns out to be just a dream? Someone that you like suddenly appears in your dream and it felt like it was "heaven" even just for a second.....and you've put all your hopes that the next time you met that person, she will act like those in your dream...!!!
Or maybe you felt that even for a glance from that person is enough to make your day? I have those things...and i wish that I've listen to my heart more closely when it says "that's her....go get her...." :-)
because if i did....maybe I wouldn't been wondering around like this...searching for something that has already been found....
I wish i could have said something then...it might change something...something that could mean everything to me....and now...I can only wish for it :-(


 

The Beauty Of Love...!!!

No boundaries...!!!
I've been walking at the street one day and suddenly i stumble into this weird looking couple...the girl is beautiful and her face is just so refine which makes me glance at her face a couple of times just to be "honest-to-god" calm...but when i look at her partner...it was like "what daaaa....." haha :-p
Just right afterwards that...the reality starts to open itself to me...my eyes just can't help to keep on searching for the truth...the truth about "love" in its own definition :-)
I can see that sometimes we are blinded by the ideas of a "happy" relationship must be based upon looks...and wealth...it sucks because i have been blinded by such predicament for quite a while since...and when i saw this couple having theirs easily...makes me feel kind of jealous a bit :-p haha
Fat girl with hunks guys...skinny women with handsome dudes...i mean, where are the boundaries that I've seen before? Are those just my imagination? or that is just what i wanted the most which suddenly turns into reality in my own imaginary world? The logic is still vague but i'll try to catch up :-)

The true face of L.O.V.E...!!!
Personally i think that the true face of love really stands on the emotional grounds....the way he or she talks, walks, smiles, or maybe even "eat" does impact your emotions straight to your heart....sometimes i wonder, what if someone as beautiful as "Julia Roberts" or "Jennifer Garner" walks through the door and says "will you be my boyfriend...?" will make me say "yes...!!!" :-/
Love suppose yo make you feel comfortable...safe...secure...warm...and happy...but what if you already reach to the point where you already have the "person" that you've "admire" besides you but didn't get those feelings that you're suppose to get? will you have second thoughts? I think that this is the stage where those so-called "jerks of a man..." or "bitch-by definitions" comes into the picture....
Those type of a person is the ones whom already feel the wrath of being in the wrong relationships...and when the times flows....the feeling becomes unbearable and it hurts more than being happy with that person...so, some tries to take an early exit by seeking for "options" or worst...commit the "white lies" paradigm just to "save" the relationship....but for me its more like lying to yourself...and the partner will feel the difference someday soon...

A happy relationship need to be worst...!!!
I often wonder why most people keep on repeating "if you never had a fight with your partner, then you're not in a relationship" i mean, why the bother if you are happy with someone which makes you have the urge to pick a fight when they are not suppose to be in the "option list" right?
But, their argument were always the same...when you fight, the true nature of your partner will reveal themselves...and you need to really understand them and make your own decision on how to manage them...because you will have them besides you for a long time...and the idea of revealing that much of your "true" self to another person means that person really feel comfortable with you...so you better not take it for granted and do what you're suppose to do :-)

Love Anatomy...!!!
I guess, in the end...love does not choose its own definition for a reason...it always make itself a puzzle which requires those soul that crave for it to seek it in its truest form....not blinded by the worlds chronology of "love" and not distracted by the temptations...always see the possibilities in the hardships because to build a strong relationship need both of heart combined...not one souls journey...or the attempt which doomed to fail...
Aren't love beautiful...?