Make It meaningful...!!!

  
Put more meaning into it...!!!

Even kids drawing have a meaning to themselves

People keep telling me that i need to stop thinking too much about "whats gonna happen" and start "do" those stuff that i need to do...(literally)
But i guess i can't unless i put some meaning into it...like i always does...!!! :-p
I admit that i kind of slow when it comes to relationship and stuff (let along marriage) :-p~btw, my mom is giving me "the look" now...~ hahaha
And my age is not really helping...because every time i check my identification card, the number keeps going further and further....(I'm scared) :-p
I remember this one guy that i meet at a "bus stand" a few years back...out of nowhere, he jumps right into a conversation with me and start talking some really personal stuff in which (if i was me) i wont even tell my mom about it...hahaha :-p ~i can't state the stuff that we talk coz most of it were guys stuff~if you know what i mean :-p
This is what i concern off lately...and hence my whole life...I'm afraid that i would do something in which have no meaning at all....
I didn't mean that those people (whom i assume) that do or does the stuff meaningless (in my sense) is doing it wrongly...i just think that they should put some weight into it...not just let it slide through :-( coz it will be pointless...right?

My dilemma...!!!
I've meet with a lot of people during my days...and most of them (let just say) are delinquent in which their brain is a size of a peanut and (i think) they use their "man-part" more frequently then they use their brain to think....~no offense guys~ :-p
But i guess, it's kind of a bless that I've been introduce to them because it has shown me what "meaning in life" is all about...
Trust me when i say this "there are a lot of freaks out there...that talks like us...eat likes us...but definitely not live like us..." :-( i pity them in the sense of lacking of common sense and their mutual interest in delinquencies...

I'm not perfect myself...!!!
Everyone has flaws right? same as me...right now I've been struggling with my own retribution in which my intervention has deluded my present from my past...I constantly trying to forget those bad things that ever happen to me and push myself way too hard to move on...(i feel sorry to myself) :-(
But, what is "perfection" to me? i acknowledge that "perfect" is overrated...but why do i still clinging towards it?
~not really ready to let go am I~ haha :-p

A promise to myself...!!!
I will try my hardest to make everything counts where it suppose to be counts...cherish what supposed to be cherish...and will not let any bouquet of stringent "Chinese democracy" to enter my private zone where my sanctuary lies....
I will put more meaning into my "sex-life" to begin with...because i have seen too much of those "honka honka" group plays with innocent heart with no intention whatsoever to hook-up with them :-( ~having two younger sister really make me sensitive about these things~
I will put more effort in "learning" what I've leaned because

those knowledge that I've receive is the only shield for me to go against the world in the future...
I will cherish my families and friends more because that is where my true happiness blossoms from...
~from all of these promises, you can see that I'm trying to set a meaning in my life...not just living it~

Don't Just live...!!!
Don't afraid to dream...because a person without a dream is not living his "dreams"...and if those dream do not scares you...means that the dream is not big enough...(so always dream big)...
I've done this countless time and trust me...we need to have something to look up for in life...because that is where our "true meaning" of living lies...