Perfect is Overrated

The Cinderella Story....!!!

During my kindergartens' day, my teacher always pull out this really thick book entitle "Fairy Tales" :-) I love it so much because in that book always tell us a story of this young princess living in a castle somewhere far far away (God knows how far) and there is always this prince comes in to the rescue :-/
The prince is always consider as "perfect" in the sense of his looks and smiles, really charming with the ladies, heart throbbing scene and courageousness when fighting the dragons, and many more. "That is perfect" as i whisper to myself day by day after i hear the story been told. To tell you the truth, i never get tired of it up until now (lame....right?) :-p

I wish that someone just see me as I am

I really want to be the prince so bad....that i would consider myself marrying a real princess if i have too :-p Not for the glory or fame, but more of hoping that someday i would be that perfect guy for a perfect lady :-)
(its too late to ask for a king to be my father now am I right?)
But now, rather than being someones' "prince charming" I'd consider myself as "The Beast" instead.  You want to know why?
Because those prince seems too perfect to begin with. I don't have a Pegasus to ride on, i don't have a big and beautiful castle on top of the hills, i don't own a country, and i most certainly don't come from a royal family. So, how does this so-called "prince" want to woo a beautiful princess? in my dreams :-( duuuhhhhh

Do True Love Still Exist?

I hope so, because I'm searching for it right now...
I dreamed of a love so pure, that It''ll just last forever (just like my moms' and dads'). A bond that just wont waver by any storm or waves, consistently loving someone in a manner which cannot be forget until the end of our lives.
Looking at her eyes every single morning when i wake up...and see her smiling face right before sleep is the best feeling in the world that I'm looking forward too. Hearing her gentle voice calling for breakfast, or seeing her beautiful smile when laughing at my ridiculous joke would make my life complete :-)
But will i ever gonna meet with her? If we do, will she accept me?(-_-)

 

    

The Irony of Being Single...!!!

Never to late to do anything...!!!

I've heard so many story of how my friends find their love ones, and how they fall in love, and how they proposed to their partners...and most of the time i found out that it's not profoundly true. I have this one geeky friend during my high-school and he "claims" to propose to this one hottie with flowers and love letters :-/
Its surprisingly shocking because the only thing that he talks about is anime and computers :-p and i swear to god, that if he watch porn, it's probably animated :-(
I'm not saying that i don't believe him hundred percent, its just that if you know someone that close, you'll have this doubt that those person will not go out of your "expectation" and in my case, out of the looney Toon factory :-) ~its a bad thing to say to your best buddy in da world right?~
But I've learned so much about human interaction and it teaches me a lot about how it can change people. Have you ever wonder how your friend used to say stuff like "i don't give flowers to chicks...its gooey and romantic...i don't do that stuff bro..!!! " and a few year after, he change into someone that reads "Setia Ke Hujung Nyawa" and "Berilah Sayang Peluang"~I mean...whatttt..!!!!~

 


Being single is a bless or a curse?

me; few years back

I always look at it this way; i have the opportunity to look at others mistake and prepare myself before I'm actually in a relationship in hoping that I'll be a perfect boyfriend someday.But the truth is, I'm just a wimp...!!! Here i am, over-think about something that probably not worth thinking and just wait for a beautiful princess to recognize my good-will intention and falls madly in love with me~yeah rightttttt~ :-p
I know that most of my friend would think that I'm a fool in thinking that some princess would come from a castle somewhere and pick me instead of other handsome and wealthy prince out there, but i have to admit that those thought actually get me through all this time and keep me in faith :-)
But honestly speaking, those faith is getting thinner by day, and I'm afraid that in time, I'll be the "jerk" whom fail in his love life and blame fate for it :-(

The Ugly Truth...!!!

I guess, in the end, i just use more excuses rather than finding the solutions. I have to admit that I'm afraid to face the world...afraid that the world will judge me as I did to myself (i just don't like my odds) :-(
Even my geeky friend have more courage than me to stand at the center front and admit his feelings...and now, he's happily being with someone that he truly loves.

Me & Friends;during a visit at KLIA

I just find more excuses to cover up my vulnerability and i think that someday, it will eat me alive...i have to admit my problem in order for me to find myself a way...a way that probably would lead me towards "her" :-)
If she is reading this, i promise that I'll be a better person not through perfectibility, but more honesty and self-retribution :-)
I promise.....!!!! 

I Once A Human Too...!!!

I once have a life...!!!
I used to run happily in the paddy field, catching fish with my bare hands and get all muddy, getting back home is rough one because my mom would go berserk at my muddy face... (she would hit me with a rattan or cane i tell you)
My dad however are the passive one...he would go all "alaaa....biarla budak-budak nak main" and at the end enjoying a scene where i get canned in my backside (if lucky) :-p
I still remember this one time where i was in my primary school, my friend and i would re-act the scene of our favorite hero character at the school canteen (when everyone is gone of course). I will choose "Kamen Rider" as my role and my friends will choose "Ultraman", "Batman" and oddly this one kid which always choose to be the "monster"~we all have that type of friends right~ :-) we would go shouting their catch-phrases and all their "powerful" moves~which now seems so stupid to think back~ :-p
My first love at first sight is the funniest, because i have this crush with this girl during my primary school and i was too scare to confess...you guys can't blame me because she is so beautiful with her short skirts, and her skin is white as snow (plus i  just have my front sweet tooth removed by a dentist during that time-remind me that i eat chocolate too much that time)...so, what i do is i wrote her a love-letter (plus a 20 cents ring that i bought at a convenient store) and slip it under her desk and like an stupid old-buffoon i waited for her to reply...and she did :-/ but not at me, but to this one kid whom pretended that he's the one who wrote her those letters...(f.y.i. I'm so furious at that time but because I'm such a whimper, i just shut my mouth up)
The sad part is i have to suffer and watch those two lovebirds eating at the canteen together every recess period...(I'm such and idiot) :-(

Hey....That's my girl...!!!

  
Looking back at some of my old memories, i felt relief that i once have some life behind me and it marks me as a "not-so-boring" person as i claim to be an opposite as i am before.
but what I'm concern so much right now is where am "me" right now?
I've tried so hard to search for myself all these time and it seems like a hopeless journey.
All my childhood friends seems to move on with their life, getting married, have children, built a career...and it makes me lonely...even for a second it felt like forever.

  

I guess that the reason of me being the "me" right now...!!!       
I'm constantly clinging to something that i think would support me throughout this period, until I'm ready to admit that they are gone...maybe not forever or maybe not at all believing that it is true, but at least i want something to hold on too right now.
Even i am not the person that i used to be, but at least i have the courtesy to respect the previous encounter which makes me who I am right now and even though they are not with me anymore, i always pray for the best in their life and the ones that they share it with :-)

I really need a girlfriend am I? :-p

What makes us change our course of life?
Is it because of our environment? or is it just because we feel that those dreams is no longer appeal as interesting or exciting like what it is years back?
Looking back at my old self years before, i would never imagine that I'd be in this current state where i would still living the dreams..."chasing your dream is the best part in your life" as i would always say...but the legit truth is, it burdens me like crazy...!!!
I don't know about most of you, but how often would you have the chance to pursue you long life dreams but yet still be happy about it?
I always think to myself, is this what i really wanted? or is it just to put at ease of my family's relentless effort to put me into school and then watch me during my studies in my university? was all of this necessary?
do i need to coupe with all of this burden by myself? or do i need to find someone who could share the same burden as i do? (i don't think so)
To tell you the truth, I'm actually getting tired of all these...but since i have made the "promise" which i could not take back, and I'm sort of stuck in my own moral dilemma...

Between "Have To" and "Want To"...!!!    
I'm lost...
I don't know what i want anymore since all my life has always been about what others want..."I have to take care of the family's name" and "i must show the world what they have been missing" is always been my portfolio ever since i started to take the responsibility...and boy!!! they sure can give you one hell of a responsibility...i can tell you that :-p
Flashing back on me wanting to be a "Bus-driver" during my primary school really cracking up my style a bit...i remember when my teacher ask me why? and me answering with a simple notion "because they are cool..." really brings a laughter to the whole class that day :-p everybody are so full of themselves with their "doctors" and "policemen" and "soldiers" but what i didn't understand is, why do my teachers don't see what i see though my eyes?
I guess starting from that time, i wanted to be what everyone expected me to be...i put "firemen" as my ambition the next year...and i get a smile from my teacher :-/ how bout that...!!! (can you believe it?)
"Doctor" and "Policemen" the upcoming period...and suddenly I'm the teachers favorite :-p
How easy to be someone's favorite just by doing the things that they wanted you to do, and due to that enigma, i did it :-( I'm stuck with this popularity contest which i know in the end it will burdens me to the pit.

me when i was a little baby :-) cute am i?

Are we different from each other?

What makes us different from each other is what makes us similar in the first place...We laugh at the same jokes, we cried at the same cause, we concern at the same distress...but how does it repels on the ambiguity that everyone has?
My thought previously is that people that comes from a different background, with different culture and different stories would make a lot of "difference" in ones character...but does it correct?
Experience has teach me that those "theory" of mine somehow true in the sense of social interaction but on the other hand its somehow legit only by those whom actually "looking at the right direction"...!!!    

People Are Dumb...!!!

Sometimes we saw whats coming at us, but for some reason we keep on "hoping" that those "thoughts" of us is not true or just some imagination that passes by here and then...why?
For those whom actually can "see through" of whats to come, it is obvious that we all are in some sort of a stringent timeline which our creator has set up...but most of us seems to neglect whats happening because you "think" you don't like the outcome at the end of the tunnel...
Its hard to admit, but i guess I'm one of those "dumb people"...and trust me, trying to reverse the flow is hard...!!! and it doesn't matter how hard you tried, you just can't shake it off :-(  

Stupid people do stupid things, but smart people tend to do the same

You think you have outsmart the one whom created you just simply because you have puny knowledge of whats happening around you...but as our teaching has thought us (and i quote): "the knowledge that we have is only as much as a piece of sand in the beach and a drop of water in the vast sea"
Being self-tempted and self-proclaim has its downturn. Its good to have a high motivation, but in the sense of claiming that you know "everything" is just sad.

The Journey Begines Now...!!!

 In life, when we discover who we are, and what we are capable off doing....it becomes apparent on the reason of our existence in this world.
Sometimes we experience a lot of hurdle along the way, feelings and emotion that triggers you heart content, not to mention our desire which makes us do or does most of the wrong decisions in life.....

But we are strong enough to overcome it.....!!!

All the possibilities in this world are possible to happen....so,why must we take them as something which is impossible to overcome?

I've learned that the hard way, and that makes me realize something....
That i am strong...strong enough to at least hold the tears before it gushing through my eyes....Strong enough to hold my gutter every time i fell to the ground....and I'm pretty sure that i am strong enough to smile every now and then just to hide my broken emotion in front of my friend and families....

Life is easy for some people...and up until now i considered myself as excluded from those group...
I'm not blaming the act of God because of my situations right now, but more or less seeking to blame myself for not doing anything to improve on that...all my life, i always waiting for the "sign".....the sign which suppose to be the guide for everything that i suppose to do and what I'm suppose to let go....(pathetic am i) :-(

But from now on, i'll take action into my own hands...seeking for opportunity with my own strength, and searching my own happiness without relying on any sign or help from other people...

So, i pray this journey that I'll take is blessed and with this post marks my ineffable road to my self-happiness and hopefully it inspire those whom always be around me...(insyallah) :-)