What makes us change our course of life?
Is it because of our environment? or is it just because we feel that those dreams is no longer appeal as interesting or exciting like what it is years back?
Looking back at my old self years before, i would never imagine that I'd be in this current state where i would still living the dreams..."chasing your dream is the best part in your life" as i would always say...but the legit truth is, it burdens me like crazy...!!!
I don't know about most of you, but how often would you have the chance to pursue you long life dreams but yet still be happy about it?
I always think to myself, is this what i really wanted? or is it just to put at ease of my family's relentless effort to put me into school and then watch me during my studies in my university? was all of this necessary?
do i need to coupe with all of this burden by myself? or do i need to find someone who could share the same burden as i do? (i don't think so)
To tell you the truth, I'm actually getting tired of all these...but since i have made the "promise" which i could not take back, and I'm sort of stuck in my own moral dilemma...

Between "Have To" and "Want To"...!!!    
I'm lost...
I don't know what i want anymore since all my life has always been about what others want..."I have to take care of the family's name" and "i must show the world what they have been missing" is always been my portfolio ever since i started to take the responsibility...and boy!!! they sure can give you one hell of a responsibility...i can tell you that :-p
Flashing back on me wanting to be a "Bus-driver" during my primary school really cracking up my style a bit...i remember when my teacher ask me why? and me answering with a simple notion "because they are cool..." really brings a laughter to the whole class that day :-p everybody are so full of themselves with their "doctors" and "policemen" and "soldiers" but what i didn't understand is, why do my teachers don't see what i see though my eyes?
I guess starting from that time, i wanted to be what everyone expected me to be...i put "firemen" as my ambition the next year...and i get a smile from my teacher :-/ how bout that...!!! (can you believe it?)
"Doctor" and "Policemen" the upcoming period...and suddenly I'm the teachers favorite :-p
How easy to be someone's favorite just by doing the things that they wanted you to do, and due to that enigma, i did it :-( I'm stuck with this popularity contest which i know in the end it will burdens me to the pit.

me when i was a little baby :-) cute am i?