There are so many reason to cry...right? Some are dull and simple...most of them are complicated and twisted...but what do i see in it are mostly something that make your heart depress and unhappy..."Joy" on the other hand are misplace in this scene where one person simply cannot find a better way to express his gratitude of the things that happen and starts to cry over it in a more discreet manner :-pI actually envy those whom simply can express their sorrow simply by shedding tears because it seems that my manly pride just wont give in just like that...I guess I was not built for that kind of gesture and composure :-(
Many have told me that crying is for losers and as a man, I must not let my emotion overcome my sanity (because I am a dude...right?) :-( but to tell you the truth..my heart is not that strong...I sometimes feel scared and lonely.....missing someone is also a good reason to cry for...and not to mention thinking about the things that happen in the past...(That's a bummer...)
Shhhs.....if only I have an "off-switch" somewhere.... :-p
Not That Easy...!!!
I guess being the head of the family and all means that i need to suck everything up into my head and dry it off clean....not letting a single trace of it ever bugs me is also a challenge because it is not easy to pretend like those burden never waver my faith...it really does :-(
I always think that my road has a long way to begin with...and suddenly those feeling of sadness flows like river and not long after that...the rain starts to fall :-(What should i do if that ever happen in front of the person that i cared about? what if they think that I'm not up for the task....what if they think that I'm a weak and not able to uphold my responsibility? I can't let them think like that? can I?
I guess it is not easy when you have all these "stuff" put onto your shoulders....right?
Is it Worth it...?
Each an every pain is worth a thousands more...but if it ever land a single blow on the person that i cared about...it will be millions times more than what it use to feel...
I guess blood is more thicker than water...right? and love is more than just a feeling.....because if it is not, I will be crazy wondering how on earth that i would do all this things for them...I guess...it just dumb luck that I've be raise in this godforsaken world...but trust me...It worth every seconds of my time :-)
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