Couples Fight…!!!

Why do we fight?

Well, it depends on the topic of your argument…sometimes its small…and sometimes its big….most of the “couple” seems struggling to play dice with this enigma…I’m not gonna lie to all of you, some of “us” do like to play with fire….thus came out with terms like “spicing up our relationships….” Or “Just to kill times….” Haha :-p

Some of my friends did it due to valid reasons like “too much pressure…”, “annoyed by your actions….” Or “jealousy….” And for whatever reasons they may be, the constant anger does not hide the true face of your relationships….i mean, when you fight, all of your hidden feelings seems flowing endlessly, am I right? Some choose (intentionally or unintentionally) throw a flashback on past-sins just to win the arguments….some choose to stress on the current problems…some didn’t even have a clue of the fights but keep on arguing for the sake of ego and pride…some like to put facts onto the table to seal the wins…some try to put vague arguments just so that they can get away from some responsibility….some just try to end up the relationship because they had someone else in mind…some like to play dumb and just ignore “the talk” for some reason….looking at all the possibilities, I might say that having this so-called “couple-fights” does have its turns….it just a matter of going wrong or right…!!!

It’s a sign…!!!

Better be careful when the “sweet talks” between both of you suddenly turns into a regular “pet talks” or “distant chats”…it’s always a bad sign when suddenly the relationships turns distant for no reason (or with vague reasons) because it means that either one of you are trying to make a mess out of the relationships….many relationships tend to end due to this reason…and being at the other end of the string would really suck at this moment…

Maybe your partner tries to tell you something of his/her disagreement over the things that you’ve done…most of the time, we tend to not realize of our own wrongdoings…some taken for granted over solid relationships which lead to a break ups…some being too stringent with their partner to the extent of suffocating them with the relationships….some puts too much rules and list of Do’s and Don’ts…some being too overprotective of their partner…some simply being too carefree of their partner feelings which make them feel insignificant…some loses their charms and looks…Its funny when we think about this reasons but trust me, its valid and existed…so please define your relationships level and their trajectory…if you feel that it is going towards a positive future, means that both of you are doing fine...but if otherwise, better revise back with your partner…or simply just have “the talk” :-/

 

Don’t let a boring you spoils hers…!!!

Try to change…be a better person…I know that accepting you as who you really are is what being in a relationships is all about…but doesn’t it also supposed to boost you in becoming a better person? Doesn’t it supposed to create a perfect you with her present? Doesn’t it supposed to lift you to a higher level when you are at your emotional perfections peak? As far as I know, these are the traits of having someone there besides you…not the other way around…”be a better you for her” is what I always say J

Turning The Table…!!!

It takes courage…!!!

Not many dares to take this oath…I mean, surrendering yourself to the idea of you yourself are not worthy of such “chance”; regardless of what it is….is just the same as lowering your ego…your self-belief…your passion…your ideology…your everything towards the extend of putting you in the other side of the fence…admitting your lost is somewhat challenging especially to those whom have a higher price than the Himalayas…personally, I also struggling to admit it myself…because you always “think” that you are right…right? So blinded by that thought makes anyone feel “determine” of whatever choices or action that they made…and when other people started to make even a slightest comment of those things that you do…you tend to retaliate… L

Not to mention if among those “commentator” lies your competitor or enemy…thus the acceptance level becomes lower and prove to have a negative impact on your life in the long run…”what if they were right…” will never be in the picture…trust me...I’ve been there…

I believe that it takes more than just “rationality” or “peace of mind” to turn the table around…because they will always be “walls” which burdens or deteriorate you from finding the truth (or at least making a point) in life…

Admit it…!!!

For me, admitting your defeat or losses are the first step of avoiding self-deprivation…thus make yourself open for other possibility of regaining strength to “win back” what you’ve loss or finding something better…Judging by those facts, only you can lift up your courage to do something more and meaningful with your life…because there a much more to this world than what you think…

Don’t be too prideful with what you’ve had or done so far…because those so-called “signature you” maybe didn’t even count in the “new you” at present…people are changing, why shouldn’t you? Ask yourself this question as many times possible…then you’ll get what I mean… J

Don’t get me wrong…having a philosophy in life is good…not to mention being the “you” you wanted “you” to be is admirable at times…but known this…if those so-called “ideology” of yours would benefit negatively towards the people surrounding you, what would be the implication of those act? You yourself made the choice which giving the chance of others to resent you more than what they already have…It’s not a good “philosophy” now is it? :-p

Live Now, So You Can Fight Tomorrow…!!!

This is a good statement…I mean, don’t think that all those people that you’ve seen on the street are ordinary or typical “street walker”…because you’ll never know whether those alleyways walker is commonly beings which considered as “fallen” in your own sense of belief…or just those “extra-ordinary” gentlemen which waiting for their time to shine…each people have their own story to tell…just like you and I…so treat them as such…respect them when passing by…because, just like us…they are also struggling with whatever life has thrown away at them…and yet, they still able to walk tall in front of you…

Turning the table is not easy…sometimes you need helps from others to do it…some choose to do it alone…some do it for fame and glory…some struggle for it just so they can change their standards of living…some only can pray for it because they couldn’t even think of making the first steps…so if you are among those whom “chosen” to be a part of it…be grateful…because what you have right now, could be someone else “dreams and prays”….. 

Can Ex’s still be Friend?

Can you fight the feelings?

You were once fall in love with each other…sharing something that only both of you know…the moment that you had is irreplaceable…the warmth of your partner still been felt under your skin….and yet you weren’t the same as you were before…can you cope with that? Can both of you keep on lying to each other by saying that “it is okay” between the two of you? The daring gesture of your wishful-eyes will always stare at her…glance at her…and without you noticing, you’ve been all over her…your mind…your thoughts…your attention is drawn towards her…can you still say that “I’m okay…”?

It is tough when two Ex’s still wanted to be friend because of the feelings that drawn both of them towards each other is so strong…can you blame them…? The irony of seeing that person which once standing beside you surely mark this awkwardness…uncertainties…sadness…guilt…anger…and so many more which only one heart can define…In the end, you can’t do anything anymore…either you or them that responsible for it…the relationship has set its sail (for some reason) and it bound to not be similar as what it used to be…not any more…!!!

Sad isn't it? What I can say is…I never would have dream of this could ever happen to me…and when it does…it sucks…!!! L

The Fake smiles…!!!

Reality checks…seeing that person in front of you every single day really put the needle in your heart, right? What does it mean? Does I still have feelings towards her? If I be so bold…I would say “yes” in a heartbeat….but you just can’t simply do that stuff…because it will put some false hope towards yourself…in your mind, you’ll always think that “she didn’t even care about my feelings anymore…or did she…” and this puzzle will repeat themselves until the very last of her glance a far…

Then this “fake smiles” and “fake feelings” start to appear…these bastards only know one thing…”to conflicts every ounce of your feeling towards that person and make it disappear…”and the last thing you know, you’ve been putting up this “smiles” which full of sorrow and despair…and trust me…It shows…!!!

You can always lie with your smiles…but your heart will always stay true…I think, that is one of the wonder of the human heart…to be honest…I don’t think that there is other honest organ in the human anatomy other than the heart…and the sucky part it…that thing only omit “beats” to express its intention…the more it beating…the more crucial and important that stuff for you (say’s your brain…) but still, your brain understand it…your body felt it…your whole senses receive it… :-/

Faking your feeling surely a tough thing to do…and it’s also not healthy…so stop…!!!

The Tears within…!!!

I’ve experience this hundreds of times before (and now still)…it is tough when having the person that you’ve love in front of you…let along someone that have be with you (for how many years…) just being there…near but far…so close until you can smell her cologne yet untouchable…you just want to shout at her “I still love you….can we please get back together…?” but it seems not working like that…either it’s you pride that’s holding you…or simply just the fear…fear of losing her again…from my part…losing her once is enough…if it did happen again, I don’t know whether I can bear the feelings or not…It is good enough that we are still friends…at least I’m happy when she’s happy…and I’m happy for everything that makes her happy…I think this is when “true love” reveal itself…a wise man once said “love is not about possession, it is about appreciation…” and by doing this, I found out that I appreciate he existence more than ever…even we are not together like we once did before…but at least being this close…seeing her living her dream…finding that “better person” than me…and smiling day by day…make my day worth a while…makes me realize that every ending has a new beginning…those were hers…and hopefully mine were just around the corner…!!!  

Don’t Be Afraid…!!!

To Love…!!!

Believe it or not, I just have an amazing chat with my old friend just now…for me to be able to meeting him is considered as “lucky” enough because this guy is whom I looked up for before (and we rarely see each other since the past four years)…Since I’ve known him, he were like this super cool dude with his knowledge and observation towards his surroundings and everything….not to mention “religious” For me he is the ideal person which I try to become…but I guess I’m still far from reaching it :-P

We are at the same age…and we both recently completed our studies…and we were like chatting on how tough it was to get a job nowadays…and not to mention doing some “catching up” with each other’s life…suddenly he reach his pockets and brought out a card that says “Wedding’s Ceremony” and somehow his name were on it…this proves to be a really good news for me since he told me about his engagement news a year before J I just can’t believe another one of my best friend is getting married…

Upon our chats, he were all like “I’m lucky to have her…” and “This is what Allah has planned for me…” with a smile which I can’t even describe with words on how happy his faces look-a-like J His love story is the most “shortest-but-daring” which I’ve ever witness (myself)…and this chronicles of his will forever be imbedded in my mind (I can’t tell you the details…sorry…!!!) :-p

I’ve told him my situation and he replied “don’t worry…your destiny has already been set up by Him, the only question is when and where….not how or whom…because the choice are already been given for you to reach it…but the end is been blanked for a reason…for us to put our faith in Him…always remember that His love is greater than your disappointment...and His plan are better than your dreams…what you need to do is just belief and don’t be afraid…because He is always be with you…always…” Gosh…!!! How can he be so cool with those words…haha

To Get Married…!!!

I always heard that no matter what your life’s situation are, when you've married, it will change everything…since few of my friends has proven it, It seems that those statement are true enough to be belief inn… (It’s not that I'm being cynical about these things…) Your way of living…your wealth…your maturity…everything will change themselves…but the question mark for me personally is whether those changes are for the better or worse?

My friend said to me that “how can you say that the person that sits next to you will bring you despair and ruining your life? Whatever reason that they may be, it will come back to Allah’s plan…and His plan are absolute…no flaws…and believe me when I say this…your life…or any other people’s life will change for the better...In Shaa Allah…”

When I think it back clearly…the person could never be some bad intrusion towards my life…she can never be...because having her is enough to make my day worth awhile…let along being a hindrance…man...I am such a stupid douche…

  

To Chase Your Dreams…!!!

A wise men once said “A man work under the broad daylight to feed himself…but work on nigh falls to reach his dream” In my defence, we are all dream-chaser…but the distance between each of us is how we reach them…some falls…and some prevails…but nothing comes easy…and nothing comes clear…success is just something which we created ourselves…but the means to reach it already been fated…

Being said all of these makes me realize that being afraid is just prove how big my dreams were...but it doesn't mean that it is impossible to reach it…it just means that I need to go out of my comfort zone to grab it…but for whatever it worth…I know that when I reach my destination...I will be a different person…J

What Should I Do…?

When I've met With Her?

Wow…all these time I keep on mumbling about how great it will be when we finally meet, but I never actually think about the things that I should do when I actually meeting her…!!! What would I say to her? Should I start off with a joke? Or just plain casual? Should I lead the conversation or just let her do all the talking? Any suggestion guys? Haha J

I know that some of you would say stuff like “don’t worry…it will flow inn…just ride with it…” but seriously man…I’m such a nervous rack when it comes to speaking with the person which I like (but not other girls…I’m not that lame…)

Gosh…how I wish I was someone else right now…it would be much simpler…those “someone else” got the looks…personality…charms…masculinity…arghhhhh thinking about it makes me devastated a bit…but even so, I still love myself J

When We Are Together…!!!

What follows next is the big “O” moment…which I think I kind of “assuming” it to be really magical and full of love…(what a douche right..!!!) but does it stops there? Yesterday I’ve listen to this one love song (I forgot the singer’s name) but the lyrics goes something like this:

One…you’re like a dream come true…

Two…just want to be with you…

Three…will make you see that you’re the only one for me…

Four…repeat steps one, two, three….

Five…Make you fall in love with me…

When I know that all of these is done…

I will go back at one…   

Such a beautiful lyrics…and the song is really good… (kinda remember a bit...is it Brian something…owh yeah...its Brian McKnight…haha finally I could remember it…) :-p

I guess everything got its cycle...and it goes the same in loving people...sometimes your love fades over time…but that doesn’t mean that It has gone away…it’s just simply means that you got the chance to relieve your love life all over again…wow…this song really inspire me to be a better lover (even though I never be in any formal relationships yet) but it never to shame to admit it ...right?

When I’m her only one and she’s mine…!!!

There are sayings that said “The true love exist only when the women choses her man over nothing and when the man’s loyal when he is everything…” This are among those words which I found profoundly true...because nowadays, almost all the girl that I’ve met expected me to have everything (as if that I was born in a rich family or have a gold mine of my own) or sees me that much closer to either Brat Pitt or Dean Cain reincarnation…it’s kind of a burden to meet those expectation whilst my real responsibility has been put onto caring my mom and sisters…gosh…!!! If only I could find that special girl that will accept me (and my responsibility) and love me of who I am instead of whom I try to become J Well, nothing worth dying comes easy…am I right?

The Deepest Feeling…!!!

When you’ve met someone special…!!!

Do you ever feel this very deep urge within you that makes your heart rushing endlessly? Suddenly your breathing seems harder to maintain…that “split seconds” flashes of you and that person’s being together…for certain people, those flashes may end up standing in front of the isle with them…gosh! What a feeling right?

Able to have those feeling is enough to make a person’s day…at least for me:-p Every time when I end up at the mall, or library, or just simply when jogging at the park…when I met a girl (that just simply passing by) I would think to myself…”what would it feel to love you…?” and those question always end up with me staring at that girl until she’s out of sight…haha :-p (makes me a freak right..?) But I seems to not be able to help it…I’m just that curious of how it would feel….!!!

Even though I still in the run to find “her”…but it seems that she is nearer now than she ever was…her scent started to take its form…her face started to appear…and her voice seems louder than before…”she is near….” were what I always told myself J

Day Passes By…!!!

Truthfully…I am tired of waiting…every single day seems longer and less enjoyable…not as what my life used to be…but, I do feel more rejoiced….more alive than whom I were ever was…it’s a funny thing which I have to certainly say that “I am dying…but It’s much better than living without knowing that I’ve tried…” J

My heart is more stronger than It was before…I could control my emotions better and not to mention my confidence level are going up the charts (from where it used to be…) I’m blessed…but I can’t deny that sometimes I feel like I’ve been cursed also…but that is a different story which my “dark side” would love to write…

It does seems like I am waiting for someone…someone which destined to be with me till the rest of my life...someone whom will see me unlike anyone else…but personally, if I can sent a letter to Allah, I’m pretty sure that the letterhead would sound more like “How much longer does I need to bear…” because I’m anxious to meet her…I really do J

The Puzzles…!!!

I think I can already visualize some of her character now (better than before)…and maybe some of you would ask “how do I know that I can?” well, to answer that, let me tell you how I used to search for her?

Basically before this, I used to imagine that my girl would be really beautiful (you can’t be mad at me because I do have high expectation due to my waiting...it should count for something…right?) haha but when the time passes by…those girl that I found really beautiful seems not very appealing anymore…it was like something is missing about that girl…and those so called “hot and sexy” body which I used to adore now seems less attractive…the “bitchy-like” girl which I found profoundly mark as “interesting and exciting” now seems a little more annoying…

Have I changed? Or Have I gone mad? Because those girl are hot as hell…!!! But why do I feel less attracted to them rather than before? (Hopefully I’m not turning gay…haha) But when I think about it more carefully, the answer takes a form of a poetry which I think quite brilliant (blushes by my own self-proclaims)       

“They are a sea of virgin…and those which are not…count them all, then you shall neither find love or happiness…only despair await those whom blindly driven by lust but not those whom cherishes every ounce of beauty that lies within her…crave for it but not as far thus your faith guide you…thus your heart tells you…thus your instinct leads you…you are your own path…you are your own journey…because all men follow those path chosen for them, but those real man chose his own path…”  

A Cry For Help…!!!

Am I Doing It Right Now…?

I guess for the past years, all my action has always been a cry for help…those stupid jokes I've made…those crazy outfit that I've wore…those relentless hours that I've spend in front of the mirror trying to see something which doesn't exist…those fake smiles which I've put just so that people won’t see my tears…I think it is true of which “you think you wanted yourself to disappear, but the truth is that you just wanted to be found”

Not to mention…my family needs me…they belief in me…they supported me…so I guess it’s only viable for me to wipe off my fear in discreet and keep on moving forward for them…don’t get me wrong…I'm not anyone’s hero or saviour (nor I wanted to be…) but in the end “you just got to do what’s right for the ones you've loved…” am I right?

But for most of my part (besides my family…) none of those people stood up and give me the answer of who I am…!!! Beat it friends or foes…to be honest, I just don’t know who am I in their eyes….and this strikes me for quite a bit of a shocker because mostly when you live your life along the way…you’ll get to know yourself better…(at least that’s what people told me…) but it just didn't happen to me…

I'm Not Perfect…!!!

Even a stupid person can justify this statement of mine…everyone is born with flaws…and so do I…I know that sometimes I can be a little bit cranky when people tries to justify my “doings” as if I knows everything…but the truth is…I just wanted to be guided…and truth be told…I am stupid as hell-from some perspectives…haha

Just because people feel intimidated by me...doesn't mean that I am better than them…those are just my self-defence mechanism that tells those “jerks” out there to bug-off and stop messing around with me…but not a “wall” which prevent people to tell me what I did was wrong…or stupid…If they were…then I'm apologizing from the very depth of my heart :-p

Personally, I think that it’s cruel to let someone clueless of his doings…I know that most of us tries to cope that phenomenon by being “truthful” about it…and the result sometimes aren't as what you've hoped for…am I right? But the Idea of “helping” them are already there…what you need to do is just to know the best possible way to touch their heart rather than ignite their anger…!!! It can get ugly sometimes :-p

Justification….!!!

If you saw me lingering my ass off by faking myself being busy as hell in front of you means that I just want you to see me working hard and hopefully you would take me seriously when giving me a chores…If you saw me singing a bit loud so that people on the other room can hear my voice means that I want them to listen to my vocal (doesn't matter whether it is good or not) so don’t go and make negative comments on that….If you saw me wearing tight jeans or shirts…It just means that I want to show you how many weight I've lost…so don’t be all sceptic about how I look like (because It is not easy to came out of the closet…) If you saw me looking at the mirror for too long is because I just concern of my hair or how my buttocks still big...so don’t go and say stuff like “whatever reason you look at the mirror won’t change anything….” Kind of crap…because you never know how those words can ruin a person’s life or self-motivation…try to be respectful and understand their doings…because from my experience being within those group…all of those doings are my way of “crying for help…” and only those who listens and sees me thoroughly can capture that J