My Mom’s Chronicle: My Past Used To Be Simple…!!!

The Childhood…!!!

Days used to be simple…yes! We have less money back then, but the value were more compare to nowadays…we can buy a kilogram of fish with just five cents…and a complete meal with a cost of additional five more…my parents own a paddy field (everyone does)…and getting a bowl of rice is just a piece of cake…we got tons of rice for the whole village to feed...I still remember back in the days where the dry season is on, and the paddy field has ended (because the paddy only sprout once a year back then), we would build a small ranch nearby the paddy field and eat there….all of my siblings and nieces will bring their mom’s specialty and eat together there…sometimes my dad (my grandfather) would bring a cane and chase us all because we stay there too long and shout “have you forget the way back to your house…?” Hahaha

Every morning, we would get up as early as five in the morning and gathered at the well nearby…the water is cold as ice and it is pure and clean (which you can drink directly from the well itself)…If the drought season is around, the well would dried up, and everyone would go to the river-side and take a bath, clean our clothes, and play around…we were never scare during that time because almost all the river-side is packed with the villagers…and they are doing the same thing…

Your granddad is a policeman…and he is a well-respected person in the village (because people see policeman differently back in the days compare to nowadays)…and he got a handsome salary compare to other villagers (I think around RM 40 or so a month)…even though the value is not that much now, but back then, that figure can feed the whole family, plus he can still save half of them each month…

How I wish those time to never end…!!!

I’m A Little Bit Badass Myself…!!!

I must admit, I’m a little bit boyish back then…climbing trees…swimming in the river…collecting fruit in the jungle…were my pricks and parcel back then…even my brothers are not as active as me…I remember this one time when I was little, and I saw all my siblings and nieces were heavenly swimming at the river-side…for some reason I take my dad’s clothes and wear them (as If I were him)…and then I walk towards those pricks…suddenly one of them shout “Pak Hamid Dah mai Oiiii…Lariiii…!!!) hahaha All of them run like crazy and when they realize that I were the one whom act like my dad, they would chase me back (but no one dares to hit me…)hahaha

Going to school is more fun back then…even though the school is quite far, but we were happily walk there by ourselves…sometimes you granddad would sent us using his bicycle (this is considered as rich during those times)…and everyone would awe us…your aunt zaitun would sit at the front, your aunt zahara would sit at the back, and me would sit at the middle…we were like those circus clown on a bicycle…

Things That I’ve Learned…!!!

From this conversation with my mom, I’ve learned a lot about my family history…plus my dad’s…since both of my parent comes from a same clan (Both of my parents are from the “Wan” clan), means that their storyline is not that far off…I just realize that Wan Mat Saman is my ancestor…I mean, I only know him from the history book for digging a river across Kedah to enable everyone to stock their water drainage for agriculture purposes…I just know that Wan Sulaiman is my great grandfather (from my dad’s bloodline)…she told me that he is the first Kedah’s Mufti…and has serve the palace for quite some time…I just know that my great grandfather Wan An’ (from my Mom’s side) is a village chief during the Japanese raid in Malaya before the independence day…and my mom said that he is big…and his size is just like those Englishman that first came to our country…(big and tall)…haha

Hearing these story makes me feel glad that I’m a part of them…listening to my mom’s story make me realize how proud she is being one of the members too…those people has done a lot of good deeds and were praise by many during their time…so it occurs to me that I need to do something of my own to balance the trade J

Just Imagine that one fine day you are a nobody, but suddenly the next day people tell you this big and amazing tale of your bloodline which make you felt that “I need to be somebody too…” Haha I know that for some people this statement could be considered as a brag…(but that is what I was aiming too exactly)… but I don’t care…I want to brag…because at least once in my life, I have a chance too…

~My Family Are Awesome~

My Mom’s Chronicle: The Imperfect Perfection…!!!

The Build Up…!!!

I was back at my home town and were looking forward for a dine with my mom…she’s been waiting for me for quite some time now…I arrive quite early considering the traffic condition during this festive season…once arrive, my mom is not around (because she was out buying some groceries) and it left me with my aunt and my sister…we talk…have a laugh…then a few hours later my mom arrive home with groceries bag…I hug her…kiss her…and hug her again as if we were years apart…it was a bit emotional for me because I haven’t have the chance to hug her for quite a while…

We talk for hours at the dinner table…telling how much stuff has happen during this separation period and laugh about my mom’s teeth (she just pull off her front-end teeth which make her look older then she should have)…hahaha :-p From her eyes I can see that she’s really looking forward to see me…and for me, the things that I dream about is coming to live now…the conversation seems endless for some reasons…I think either both of us did not want the conversation to end since we know that it’s hardly to get a chance like this that often…

The Untold Love Stories…!!!

It started with my sister’s crush stories which lead to my mom’s love story with my dad…I don’t know how it started (because we are so occupied with my sister’s crush) but since the truth has come out, then we might as well just listen to what my moms’ wanted to say…

“He is not perfect….no one told me about his attitude…his bad habits…his gambling problem…no one did…but I accepted him because it was fated…” That is her first statement…and she further explain that during her younger days, life is just a wonderful feeling…she take care of her mom…her siblings…her nieces…even though the standard of living is not that permissive, but she’s glad that with all her limitations, she still be able to provide such a contribution towards her family…

“Being single is just heaven…I feel free up until the age of 27…I travel here and there…seeing the world…working…but everything must have some stopping point where I need to start to think about my future…as a wife….” Taking care of her nieces is not enough anymore, when she started to crave for her own children…and with some luck from my aunt’s, she has been married to my dad (through an arrange-marriage)…At first, she is reluctant to accept the offer since my dad is not as attractive as “Shah Rukh Khan” with his belly stuck out…and his skin is a bit dark…haha But considering her age and her lack in social life, she accepted the offer and embrace herself with any obstacle that comes into her life after the marriage…and it did happen…

She pointed out that her life is not as what she expected them to be, the countless debt is just a scary things to experience (which I did somehow experience this during my childhood days…It was awful)…but she keeps on setting her mind positive and always hope that there will be some miracle after all of this drought passes…the gambling issue is the result of his friends…he have some bad acquaintances during his time and it dragged up until his after-marriage life…and it is something that my mom need to bear until a certain period of time…plus his addiction to smoking is also something that could not been taken lightly since it has causes my family quite a debt (this is why I hate smokers)…

But I was happy when you (me) first come into the picture…then your sister…and then your youngest sister…it seems like the entire burden faded and life just got better afterwards….

Despite Of All The Bad Things, He Is A Good Person…!!!

“I always love him…until now…even though he is like that, but he never neglect his family…even though we are highly in debt, but we never felt hunger…not even a single time in our life….He is a good man…He is my husband…”  She quoted that he also suffers from depression…and his life is not what everyone sees…he struggling to provide for his family…day and night without complaining…even though the world is against him, but he still walk tall and work his butt off to ensure that all of us have enough food to eat…enough clothes to wear…and enough money to survive the day-to-day life…

Personally, my dad is my greatest enemy because he never change…he always say negative words to me despite all the effort….but on the other hand, he is my hero…because despite his health condition, and his limitations, he never give up…he always give me a chance to explore myself (even though in the end he will ratchet me with his negative encouragements)…and he is an ideal icon as a husband despite his smoking problems and gambling issues….He showed me what it’s like to be such a person and from there, he made me realize how important for a man to be a man of the family despite your condition…because whatever the things that you've done to yourself is yours’ to bear…but never put the baggage to those whom matters the most, because they worth more than that…

~I love you mom and dad…You’ll always be my inspiration…~

The New Beginning...Again...!!!

This is life...!!!
Whenever you felt down...scared...demotivated...relentless...always remember that you have a "choice" to make...and that choice can either save you...or destroys you...I believe that in life, exist a "refresh button" somewhere...and it's up to you whether you want to press it or not...a lot of people (especially those whom lived before me) said that you only have one decision in life, but i really beg the differ...why must you only scope yourself into one simple solution whilst the answer comes in many forms and sizes...? Creation of this figures might resulted one emotions to blend with the tide and only hopes that the odds are moving towards their direction...which is not entirely true the whole time...
For many times I think to myself that the world is more than what meet the eyes...but if the heart is blinded by the sorrowful facts of those shadows, then the naked eyes will never see the truth even if you beg for it...Is is sad to think that most of us is crying over something which is not matters and laugh at the things which did...in the end, the last laugh shall be on the lips of those whom "notice"...so which side are you on?


New Chapter In My Life...!!!
I have open up a new chapter in my book recently, and strive to seek for more challenges in the deep sea...even though the decision has come with a heavy heart, but there are times when you need to make such decision in life right? The mix feeling does have its turns...and to be honest, I do felt a little bit scared of this development...but if I stop and stare at the road taken, it seems that the journey has not diverted that much yet...but who know what will happen along the way...The jitters seems to give me goosebumps and the chills stops me to breath a couple of times...so i guess it is a sign that I have made one of those "big-life decision" which may effect my life in the long run...
Coming to the end is not what I was hoping for...and as I enter the next door, the breeze slowly capture my skins and the lovely sounds starts to go loud...but should I open it? If I did, Should I step in?

The Sirens Whisper...!!!
A lot of people do try to influence me to take a certain "precautions" and the vibes does felt deeper when the group are among your closest...however it seems that my heart already have made up his mind and guided me to take the canal rather than the those high-roads...why?
Why does my heart did not allow me to be like them? talk like them? think like them? this does horn me with doubts and clearly the answer is not going to be serve in a silver platen...but one thing for sure is that I never felt scared to go against the tide...it seems that my faith in myself does proven to built me a shield which strong enough to protect me when the situation demanded it the most...At least I'm not scared..not scared at all :-)

~The broth of success is a mix of multiple small achievements~