The Lonely Shadow...!!!

Book One: The Day I Die


In the midst of darkness, you've been left alone...
Clinging to the soul whom bear you, but never once been cherish...
Deemed by the haunted pale faces of those whom look down...but never see you...as you...
Your heart is there...but not even once it beat to bits...never you felt like you are among them...
You try to smile...you try to laugh...but no one seems to care...no one is there...no one...
Suddenly tears starts to fall...but as it touches the ground, it disappear...as if it never shed...
I ask to myself "why?"...then the beholder of the bearer starts to speak....
"You are you...no one is you...and you are no one..."
I reply "If I am I, they are not me, and me are not them...then who exactly am I...?"
He says "You are you...."  and then it echoes to nothing...as the tears are pouring...as the heart starts to beating heavily...
Suddenly the sun rises...slowly but surely it filling all the edges of the room...
Without knowing, it strikes fear to you...you screams for help...you shout your lungs out...but no one seems to care...no one has...and no one will...
The heat then starts to give it away...you felt like this is the end...this is the end for everything...
Flashes of your miserable life starts to make their way...and it has been repeating like forever...
The day you are born...the day when you first know the world as it is...seems not that long...
The fears starts to raise itself...as the flashes started to grow...and the voices starts to echo...
"He who kneel to the sun, will find its way to the light...and he whom hide from it, shall never receive its blessing...
But...knowing the truth been told...you are still swirling in fears...fear of disheartening...fear of not existing...fear of loosing...fear of not knowing...
"How could this be...? am I going to disappear or am I going to live?"
As the light making its way towards you...you try to cling on something which you felt dearly with...
Your grip is as hard as the metal itself...and it hurts you...and it bleeds you...
You cling as if there is no tomorrow...like there will be no one else to save you...like there will not be any pieces of you left...
You closes your eyes...and ready to receive the blows...you felt weak...you felt scared...
Then flashes of the things you've done starts to appear...the do and don'ts which you neglect...and the things which you promised that are kept undone...
"How I wish I could turn back the time..." you said...If only I do this...and I do that...maybe this wont be happening to me...maybe I would die peacefully with no regrets...
But those happening seems too late now, as the light is in front of you...just inches away...and ready to consume your dark...and hollow figures to bits..
Your eyes is filled with the overwhelming shines of the light...the horizontal and vertical membranes of your seems to burst into a maze...
Knowing that this is the end...this is how I ended my life...This is how I die...

~To Be Continued~  

The Girl Conspiracy...!!!

Have You Ever Wonder...?
Why does every time when a sarcastic gesture towards the women's negative habit's has never be appose by them? I've been wondering about this for quite some times now and finally able to make a sarcastic conclusion about it...and you know what? It's sooooo well-planned by them....!!! haha Seriously I never thought of it up until recently and it has created a clearer understanding on women's protective layers which is vague for my "senses" before :-p
Maybe for girls, this is kinda provocative statement made by someone whom didn't actually have much connection with their "kind" but personally, I think that the more they understand what "guys" think about them, the more they can "adapt" or "accept" those skeptics (or the worst case scenarios, I'll be dead before dawn) haha
The realization that I've discover about women towards their acceptance of "women-sarcasm" are "women accept their sarcastic habits because it's benefited them in the long run..." How about that? any objection ladies? haha In contrast of the "guy's-bad traits" which up until now "we" are still defending ourselves from the "accusations" made by the ladies out there...because not only it kills our "mojo" but also it hurts our reputation indefinitely :-(
Stuff like "girls are so talkative...", "girls love shopping...", and "girls are emotionally unstable.." really gives them enough edge to stay one step ahead from "us" in the run for "superiority department"hot-seats :-p Because obviously, even though those statement sounded negative in terms, but no doubt that it gives undeniably advantage whilst making guys felt like they are facing against a "handicapped" opponent (metaphorically speaking) :-p

The Conspiracy...!!!
I don't actually blame them in this...i mean, if guys are built to be more protective towards their so-called "weaknesses" then this realization wont actually be happening for me...but to think that it has been a viral towards all the ladies out there which in the end resulted a psychological impact towards me and make me think that "ladies are so fragile" in the sense of "gender-rated" addendum are soooo wrong all this time :-(
Women are not weak...they are strong...maybe not physically (sometime there are ladies that can beat up guys...) and to think that they are easily worn out by the lads-pheromone is not in the picture nowadays....not any more :-p I think that nowadays guys are facing a more complex relationship then it was ten years ago...and to be able to step up and lead the relationship, "we" need to tackle more ground and covers our weaknesses more wider than before....it can't be just "great body" and "cash" anymore...haha (like I have those stuff to begin with...) :-p
But, if we see in the bigger picture than this, i really (and still) felt that those girls are having it good...i mean, positive as it seems, those "habits" are always been given away as an excuse fr the wrongdoings that they commit...you are really enjoying this aren't you ladies...? haha

The Tributes...!!!
In the end, it relates back towards guys inability to fulfill their duty as the man of the family (or relationship) and this puts a domino's effect towards those girl habits to push "us" towards the "spectator bench" and swirling around our pajamas whilst they take the lead and enjoying the "king's
Thrones"...how could this be happening? and how far that guys has fallen in the sense of finishing their responsibility? You can be the judge of your own traits my fellow lads :-(
For me, i think that guys nowadays a more attracted to "live the dream" and "be all rich and famous" rather than doing what they suppose to do in the first place...I do realize that having those "luxury" does improve your "self-esteem" as a guy...but i think that "we" are missing the real point in living...which is to serve our purpose of living...and carry on the traits of who we truly are...and that is to be "human" and its humanly traits...
Forget the swarming girls...forget those fancy cars...those bungalows...and those banks account...and look deep inside on the real thing that makes you human...because if you're willing to lower your collage of those so-called "dream" of yours, you will see that it will only pointing towards a few goals only..seek it, and only then you can see clearer on what you really want in life :-)

"We can only see what we wanted to see...and we can only hear what we wanted to hear...so if you wanted to see or hear something else, open up your eyes and ears more often...then only your heart can do its work..."

~by One_Love~