What Should I Do…?

When I've met With Her?

Wow…all these time I keep on mumbling about how great it will be when we finally meet, but I never actually think about the things that I should do when I actually meeting her…!!! What would I say to her? Should I start off with a joke? Or just plain casual? Should I lead the conversation or just let her do all the talking? Any suggestion guys? Haha J

I know that some of you would say stuff like “don’t worry…it will flow inn…just ride with it…” but seriously man…I’m such a nervous rack when it comes to speaking with the person which I like (but not other girls…I’m not that lame…)

Gosh…how I wish I was someone else right now…it would be much simpler…those “someone else” got the looks…personality…charms…masculinity…arghhhhh thinking about it makes me devastated a bit…but even so, I still love myself J

When We Are Together…!!!

What follows next is the big “O” moment…which I think I kind of “assuming” it to be really magical and full of love…(what a douche right..!!!) but does it stops there? Yesterday I’ve listen to this one love song (I forgot the singer’s name) but the lyrics goes something like this:

One…you’re like a dream come true…

Two…just want to be with you…

Three…will make you see that you’re the only one for me…

Four…repeat steps one, two, three….

Five…Make you fall in love with me…

When I know that all of these is done…

I will go back at one…   

Such a beautiful lyrics…and the song is really good… (kinda remember a bit...is it Brian something…owh yeah...its Brian McKnight…haha finally I could remember it…) :-p

I guess everything got its cycle...and it goes the same in loving people...sometimes your love fades over time…but that doesn’t mean that It has gone away…it’s just simply means that you got the chance to relieve your love life all over again…wow…this song really inspire me to be a better lover (even though I never be in any formal relationships yet) but it never to shame to admit it ...right?

When I’m her only one and she’s mine…!!!

There are sayings that said “The true love exist only when the women choses her man over nothing and when the man’s loyal when he is everything…” This are among those words which I found profoundly true...because nowadays, almost all the girl that I’ve met expected me to have everything (as if that I was born in a rich family or have a gold mine of my own) or sees me that much closer to either Brat Pitt or Dean Cain reincarnation…it’s kind of a burden to meet those expectation whilst my real responsibility has been put onto caring my mom and sisters…gosh…!!! If only I could find that special girl that will accept me (and my responsibility) and love me of who I am instead of whom I try to become J Well, nothing worth dying comes easy…am I right?

The Deepest Feeling…!!!

When you’ve met someone special…!!!

Do you ever feel this very deep urge within you that makes your heart rushing endlessly? Suddenly your breathing seems harder to maintain…that “split seconds” flashes of you and that person’s being together…for certain people, those flashes may end up standing in front of the isle with them…gosh! What a feeling right?

Able to have those feeling is enough to make a person’s day…at least for me:-p Every time when I end up at the mall, or library, or just simply when jogging at the park…when I met a girl (that just simply passing by) I would think to myself…”what would it feel to love you…?” and those question always end up with me staring at that girl until she’s out of sight…haha :-p (makes me a freak right..?) But I seems to not be able to help it…I’m just that curious of how it would feel….!!!

Even though I still in the run to find “her”…but it seems that she is nearer now than she ever was…her scent started to take its form…her face started to appear…and her voice seems louder than before…”she is near….” were what I always told myself J

Day Passes By…!!!

Truthfully…I am tired of waiting…every single day seems longer and less enjoyable…not as what my life used to be…but, I do feel more rejoiced….more alive than whom I were ever was…it’s a funny thing which I have to certainly say that “I am dying…but It’s much better than living without knowing that I’ve tried…” J

My heart is more stronger than It was before…I could control my emotions better and not to mention my confidence level are going up the charts (from where it used to be…) I’m blessed…but I can’t deny that sometimes I feel like I’ve been cursed also…but that is a different story which my “dark side” would love to write…

It does seems like I am waiting for someone…someone which destined to be with me till the rest of my life...someone whom will see me unlike anyone else…but personally, if I can sent a letter to Allah, I’m pretty sure that the letterhead would sound more like “How much longer does I need to bear…” because I’m anxious to meet her…I really do J

The Puzzles…!!!

I think I can already visualize some of her character now (better than before)…and maybe some of you would ask “how do I know that I can?” well, to answer that, let me tell you how I used to search for her?

Basically before this, I used to imagine that my girl would be really beautiful (you can’t be mad at me because I do have high expectation due to my waiting...it should count for something…right?) haha but when the time passes by…those girl that I found really beautiful seems not very appealing anymore…it was like something is missing about that girl…and those so called “hot and sexy” body which I used to adore now seems less attractive…the “bitchy-like” girl which I found profoundly mark as “interesting and exciting” now seems a little more annoying…

Have I changed? Or Have I gone mad? Because those girl are hot as hell…!!! But why do I feel less attracted to them rather than before? (Hopefully I’m not turning gay…haha) But when I think about it more carefully, the answer takes a form of a poetry which I think quite brilliant (blushes by my own self-proclaims)       

“They are a sea of virgin…and those which are not…count them all, then you shall neither find love or happiness…only despair await those whom blindly driven by lust but not those whom cherishes every ounce of beauty that lies within her…crave for it but not as far thus your faith guide you…thus your heart tells you…thus your instinct leads you…you are your own path…you are your own journey…because all men follow those path chosen for them, but those real man chose his own path…”