Shadow Lover...!!!

Is It Weird?
To fall in love with someone which is not there yet....to feel her presence...to smile at crowded places (as if she is standing besides you and making jokes about those people)...to walk slowly and keep looking at your sides (as if she is walking next to you)...personally, that is really crazy stuff man...!!! Haha
Sometimes when eating alone, i still keeping it proper as if i'm eating with someone...the preparation is so detailed up to the extend that what "she" needs to do is to just fill that blank spot...I know that many will judge me when i tell them this stuff, but I just simply don't care that much...because I believe that one day, she will be thankful of all my effort...and she will be proud to have me in her life...as for me to have her's in mine...

"Bersama" (Together)
Yesterday, i just feel like writing and composing something and this stuff came out...!!! I mean, it's been awhile since my last recordings, so i think that it is a good start to kick it off by one of my new tracks...

Lyric: Bersama (Together)

[Verse I]

Kau ada dalam diriku…(You are inside me...)

Memberi kan ku semangat…(giving me strength...)

Walau jauh jasad berada…(Even though you are far...)

Suaramu masih kudengar…(your voice still lingers...)

[Verse II]

Hadiah lamaran menjelma…(A proposal arrived...)

Merantai ikatan manjamu…(Tying your sweetness...)

Biar dunia lain melihat…(Let the world see...)

Realiti hatiku padamu…(The reality of my heart for you...)

[Chorus]

Kuharap kau setia…menunggu aku disana…(I wish you'd stay faithful...waiting for me there)

Mengotakan janji sumpah setiaku…(To uphold my promises...)

Akan ku bawamu…kelangit ketujuh…(I will bring you...to the highest cloud...)

Melihat dunia…bersama…(To see the world...together...)

[Bridge]

Oh tuhan…ku syukur padaMu…(Oh God...I'm thankful...)

Kau jadikan dia hanya untukku…(You created her just for me..)

Ku berdoa…hanya bahgia…(I pray...only happiness..)

Untuk dia…untuk dia…(For her...for her..)

Song description:

This song is about how a person's journey been guided by an unknown individuals...it represent love that "transcend times" and even though the person haven't meet with his benefactor, he still felt her presence...

sometimes, love can come in many ways...and for this person is concern, his heart has been stolen by someone else which maybe not exist...but he still kept the faith high and trying to improve himself as far as he can before that faithful day arrive...

For me, this is what I've experience right now...and trust me, it is not easy to be in love with someone which is not there...you'd never know her face...her physicals...her voice...but inside your mind, she is the most perfect being that you'll ever meet...and it fuels your heart to strive and make yourself known by many...because you'll never know, she might be standing next to you this second...

Hope you'd enjoy this songs :-)

Goodbye 2014...and Hello 2015...!!!

It was quite a journey...!!!
2014 has been good so far...i mean, i've met a lot of people...going places...face a lot of challenges but fortunate enough to survive it...I cried and laugh about it so far...and it makes me realize how beautiful life is...To be honest, i never would imagine myself to stand at where i am right now...but it seems that Allah's plan is better than what i have in mind...so i just went with it...and hopefully something good will come forward...
Call me crazy, but somehow...for no reason...I've been smiling..at every small things that passes me by...those small kids running...those couple that holding hands in the train...those street junkies chilling out with their peeps...that Indian lady that works at McDonalds ice-cream counter...those Korean tourist that ask me for help...the security lady at my workplace...my bosses...gosh..!!! how much i've change so far? Seeing those people that i passed every single day makes me cherish mine more...
My mom and sister are doing fine...seeing both of my sister starting to get their life sorted out makes me a little bit relief...because my late-father voices still lingering and saying stuff like "you need to take care of your sister...and your mom..."...but i'm glad that those echo is getting further and further away now....
As far for looking for "Ms Right" is concern...I'm still searching for her...sometimes when i walk at crowded places or simply sitting alone somewhere...i felt that she is there somewhere...and it makes me turn my head quite a few times and look for her (even though i don't know what she's look-likes)...but i'm happy...happy enough that Allah makes me feel her presence even though it's not the right time for me to meet her yet...

Thousand-folds of Gratitude...!!!
I just wanted to take this opportunity to those whom has effected my life so far (you know who you are...) to thank all of you...huge or small...good or bad...nice or naughty...you have been there for me...for my best and worst...seeing me peed my pants off...or admiring my stage presence when i did my performances....or simply say "hi...and hello..." everyday....you are my inspiration...notice it or not, you are...!!!
Sometimes (and most of the times...) i know that i did not be there enough for you as much as you've did for me...and it makes me feel guilty for not being able to mirror your kindness...but do noted this...i'm trying my best right now is because of the strength that you have been giving me...every single day when i'm about to step down and giving up, i think to myself "if i fail...i failed us all...because we are all in this together...it's not me fighting fr myself anymore...it's for them..."
As the journey goes on...as the end is still dark...and as the clock still ticks....i will carry on your wishes and move forward...because looking back is not a leisure which i have right now...this weight seems manageable right now...but please keep on supporting me...because i'm pretty sure that i will crumble the minute all of you turn your backs on me....you are my sun...my light...my only source of motivation...the rest, I leave it to Allah :-)

Hello 2015...!!!
I've been thinking to do something great this year...something which will make a remark and highlights for this journey I'm in...i haven't figured it out yet...but i know deep within that it will be big...haha (exaggerating it too much)

Maybe I could go travelling to some place incredible like Switzerland....or go kayaking for days...hiking the Gunung Kinabalu also would do the trick...arghhhhh so many choices to pick...haha Maybe one at a time right? But my focus will always be my family and my career...so be sure that i will look for something on that fields too...
I just wanted to make my life goes to next level this year...enough of being the old me...i need to improve myself more...because there are so many things that i need to do...but so little time to do it...money is always an issue...but i could never let it be a hindrance...because if it is, then i will be going nowhere....i think this year would be one of the best year for me..i'm pretty confidence that it will...call it a hunch or premonition...because i will make sure that it is...

~Happy New Year To All Of You...And Have A Blasted year Ahead~   

 

Real Life Of A Commoner...!!!

The Daily Routine....!!!

Well, the other day when i was waiting for the train to my workplace...I've seen something which intrigued my vision...a daughter and her mom is arguing on something...and they are "loud" about it...i mean, at first it was a bit annoying to see someone making a scene at the public places right...but as the conversation flows....all of the people there can't help but to watch this "loud scene" to continue...the daughter is shouting something about "i want this and that..." but her mom was like "you can't have those..." and there were some hand action going on...she light punched her mom...and her mom was like "avoiding" those hand motions...and the argument continues until my train arrive...it was a 15 minutes entertainment for all, but in the end, i was looking down and think to myself...that's life...?

Later that day, when i was heading back after work...I've met with this foreign couple and the lady were like super hot...but her partner is bouncing with joy (if you know what i mean)...i try to be "receptive" about it...but deep in my heart there are still "sarcasm" and "denial"...but still...i kept my eyes shut and think to myself...that's life...

Most of my time, i keep on looking for something within our society which make us unique and special...but what I've missed is actually the fact that everyone

is unique and special...in their own way....those foreign hard-labor Bangladeshi-ans with their smells...those Indonesians with their unique taste of fashions...those Indians with their blings...those Chinese with their groups...those Malays with their prides....those Siamese with their "what'ever'-that-thing-was"....and many more....It's funny when i try to look for something different, i tend to seek for their bad traits....which is racism and politically incorrect...

But i kept looking down at the floor and say to myself...that's life...!!!

Climbing Up The Ladder...!!!

Obviously...all of us is trying (or dreaming) to be on top of everyone...be favored by many...be worship even by millions of other "loosers" out there...receive an immense amount of money for just appear in someplace exclusive...adored by groupies...chased by hot girls...buy expensive stuff just by pointing fingers at them...wow...!!! would it be great?

So...to achieve that...we commoner dressed up like a star...push ourselves and our credits to bought those expensive items...join those so-called "hotties" just to get some actions....going places not to experience the scene, but more likely to take picture just to show that "i can..." fake our smiles and life in front of camera and video recorder just to show that "i have an interesting life..." hoping that people would buy it and raise you higher on top of this so-called "cycle of life"....

Sad is it...? Don't you feel it...? i mean, most of us trying to be someone that is different than themselves...and "copying" other people's life is more pleasuring than living our own....personally, what's the point of "living" when you lived someones else's life? Would you be fine with that? Would you be happy? Because you are special for the person that you truly are...not the one that you've became....and you should focusing on finding yourself more than dreaming to be the same as your "iconic person"...

Limitless Limitations Liaise Loopholes...!!!

I'd never say that "us" commoner have no future whatsoever to stand at the lime light...because as a commoner myself..."trying" is the only way to succeed...and without it, we will always stay the same...being stagnant not usually good...but not a bad idea also...we have to accept the fact that the world is changing...the people are changing...and the hopes and dreams just got a little bit higher this time around...so the choices that you've made are the ones which determine your fate...

Some people like to identify "us" commoner as those "bugs" which flies at night...searching for any sources of light and get attracted to it....and when we get too close...those light will burn us and kill us...even though we saw a lot of our comrades died in the action...we still push our self to reach it...because each and everyone of us realize that life is too short to be scared and wait for miracles to happen...so be mindful :-)

  

Everlasting Love….!!!

Does L.O.V.E. last…?

There is no such thing as “everlasting” phenomenon in this world…the one that is consistently prolonged are “changes” and these might be for the better or for the worst…who would knew the outcome of everything…am I right? Even though there are saying that says “love transcends time and ages…” but it never specifies the continuation of it…I mean, everything requires some sort of fuel to burn up the fire right? So, why “love” should be excluded from all of this?

If you’re not careful with this elements, you might be considered as those whom taken love for granted…always paying respect to those “unforeseen-god” which supposed to firmly tided up your relationship to its core and will never let go…well, guess what…? You’re totally wrong…!!! The minute you’ve have that sort of idea that “love” is simplistic as it is…then you can safely say to yourself that “You’re dead…” and your relationship is going downhill on moving forward…

Just consider yourself lucky if he or she still stays…because (and again I quote) they stayed for a reason…and those reason can be anything….you be the judge on that…!!!

No One Are Safe…Not Yet…!!!

I know that everyone will pull their trigger towards me by saying stuff like “What the hell that you know about love…you don’t even be in a relationship yet…So, stop being a smart-ass…” right? But guess what, if what I’ve said is wrong…then prove it to me that not even a single write-up is useful and all of it is trash and made up clues…!!! Because trust me, either you be or not in a relationship, as long as you have a clear understanding of each other “needs” and “wants”, then you are not that far off from the truth…

Some people just don’t want to accept the fact that love requires more effort than anything…because it represents your sincerity, devotion, respects, attentions, and many more towards your partner…not to mention their willingness to accept your flaws and imperfections’…

From love blooms its fruitful result like “marriages”…and babies… and from there, comes you and I…have you ever consider that? Just imagine how hard our mom and dad struggles to raise us…and without those “love” and “affection” towards each other, this “fruit” won’t blooms till now…lucky us huh?

Another Princess Cinderella’s story…!!!

Well, reality check…not everyone have the pleasure to dine a candle-light dinner in expensive hotel or restaurant to talk about their relationship, or have those long walk on the beach in Milan just to show that their love is as beautiful as those sunsets in front…but you need to try to make the best out of what you’ve got…remember that this is not a number’s game…and surely this is not something that you just do it one time only…love blossom because of the quality of your love…and not the quantity of those materials which you’ve poured… It’s all fun and games when love is getting too easy to be obtain…but more or less, one way or another…he or she’s true feeling shall emerge itself…and trust me guys…the physical appearances of those so-called “soul” can be ugly sometimes…I guess pointing fingers just won’t cut it when that time comes…  

Charity Or Sympathy…!!!

Which One Do We Usually Choose…?

A part from being conceited by our own “kindness”, we tend to forget the true meaning of “giving” thus makes us vulnerable to those humanly perceptions that blinded us…Have you ever felt that the world around you be so much of a rascal sometimes? We wanted to be acknowledge and accepted by our peers and friends by presenting whatever proportion that we have…but they keep on putting our salvation away by saying stuff like “you are not good enough…” or “hypocrites…”

Being left alone in this world proves that only the “fittest” survives…but not everyone shares the same idea…I for myself always belief that every ounce of contribution that we’ve made throughout this years will only serves us years to come…so it’s more like a personal investment instead of an “instant profits”…

It’s funny to see how much we struggle to achieve something in life, but forgetting the fact that there are bunches of other people that shares the same idea…so how much are the odds of us getting there? Because from what I’ve learned, people tend to question the reasoning behind “giving” or “contributing”…but only few seems to ask “The impact…” and “The goodness…” of those action….sad right?

Fool of Fools…!!!

I may be too diligent by saying this…but for me, those “fools…” are a fool among “fools…” which make them lost the benefit of “giving” all these years…How can we say our self as “moving forward” but the lesser we earn results the lesser we yearn? It should be the other way around right?

All of us shares the same goal…and those goal probes millions of ways to reach it…but we tend to shredded our way up into those small holes which we call “opportunity”…I mean, come on…!!! God is not that cruel in giving only one small windows of opportunity to all of us right? Everyone deserve the every rights to receive the treasure chest…The game of life is not the same as those football games…we didn’t receive only one ball for each games…we have been given a ball to each and every one of us…but the question is, will we shoot the ball onto the net? Will we dribble it? Will we pass it to others? Its all depend on you…!!! Think about it…

Enough Charity…!!!

Should I stop? Should I keep on “giving”? Should I waste another time of my life by “serving” others?is the question which I could not answer within my current state…I mean, if I recap back at all my pass experience, the reason of “me” being the “me” I am right now is because of those “giving’s” and without it, I could never reach to where I am right now…that’s for sure…but I acknowledge that every good deeds has its limits…not just for the others…but also for myself…so I can only just pray that Allah is giving enough strength to keep on “giving” instead of “receiving”…and only then, I can finally say to myself that “I’m done….”….at least for now… J How about you?

Hopes and Dreams…!!!

How do you define it…?

It’s supposed to be as simple as “what I want in life” right? But what makes it complicated? This question lingers in my mind for quite some time now. Maybe because I’m such an airhead to the extent where those unnecessary comment means nothing to me….

What you want is up to you…that are from my standpoint…but nowadays it’s not so due to various reasons which blocked your intention and captivate you in your own world….why so? Why must you condone to others limitation? They maybe can’t reach to where you stand, so they envy your success or your road to success…because for them, it’s impossible (which is also wrong on their part)…

Our limitation only exist when we allow them to appear…same goes to our fears, interest, passions, and many more…I just don’t understand why we must limit ourselves? Not only it sounded wrong and weak…but it also demotivate me at some point which makes me reconsider a few things that I want to achieve in life…and I hate it so much… L

Do You Deserve To Have Them…?

I belief strongly that everyone deserve to have dreams and hopes…why shouldn’t them? We are all created equally…regardless of gender…status…religion…and many more…we are entitle to own ourselves…there is no such thing as “fix” in life’s dictionary…because the only thing that is certain are “changes” right? So, in my opinion…changes represent “choices” which could lead to another set of “destination” each time we make them…and this is what we call “decision”….so the only “sin” that we bear when we reach to a wrong destination is on those decisions that we make…not the result…so don’t blame yourself too much when we diverted ourselves a bit…sometimes maybe there are some hiccups along the way…some maybe reach to the point where their resources or support are exhausted, so they couldn’t reach those goals…and started to “give up”….on that level, I pretty much understand…but you yourself need to know when to start to go back up and try again…for some people, it’s a game of endurance…for some, it’s more on strategy…there are also “luck”….but I don’t put my hopes too high on that…maybe it’s nice to have them once or twice...just in case…hehe J

Supporters and Hater…?

You have to anticipate that along your road to reach your “destination”, you’ll meet those whom support you…and those whom despise you…either way, both of this type are important in gaining the leverage to get “there”…for me, never hate someone too much…and never love someone too much also…because you’ll never know when will these two swaps with each other…I occasionally heard stories in which some of my friend of friends turn their back on each other and put a wall in between…and the sad part about these two is, they have been friends for like forever…and when something happen which triggers both interest, they decided to protect themselves and lead to this commotion…whereas, some stories I’ve heard that there are enemies which becomes friend because of their arguments between each other throughout all the years …and suddenly have this some sort of rationalization that they actually like each other weaknesses and can’t live without their comments to improve themselves…

I guess right now…anything can happen…right? You do the judging…

The Chronicles of Key Board Warrior...!!!

Everyone is a journalist...!!!
Social media (such as this) proves to be such a hit which make a lot of people can easily express their feelings, thoughts and other emotions that pops into their mind...some choose to post something symbolic about their life...some prefer foods and beverages...other just plain expression of their emotions which sometimes can lead to a more incurable stagings...so is this phenomenon probes a positive attributes? or not?
Simply put, i vouch for those "silver lining" between these two...i mean, there are a lot of positive creations, but those negative faults also need to be put into the account...I can't really create much of a scene because i am one of those goons so-called, so the idiom towards this debate is scarcely directed to a more redundant facts...Not to mention those obligated resentment to disclose any particular details which should be concealed is hardly addictive to social appraisals and "like" buttons...i mean, i'm not saying that i'd excluded myself from this, but clearly consider the after-effect which stimulate your eagerness to "write" before you post something...because those wrongly deciphered words could cause you more than your "earnings"

Emotions before Brains...!!!

There are few whom decided to put everything on the line for the sake of "self-retributions" and most of the time their actions involve other parties which result a more destructive cause...I still don't fully understand the reasons behind it (besides wanting to make a point) but one things for sure is that these group of people play dice with their action more than enough to be casually appose by their surroundings...
Is it worth it? to be those so-called "warrior" that doesn't have any support? or the physical confrontation towards your benefactors? I myself always believe in the art of confronting your enemy, even it meant to be harshly caste by them, because that's the real confrontation for me...but how about these groups? Their whole meaning of self-justice is solely being behind the screen and resent the world which might not even existed in the first place...and the more their "writings" being resent by the public, the more they hate the world around them (especially those whom know them personally which involves directly or indirectly in the conflicts)...

Happy Ending...?
Most of the key board warrior that I've met so far could not gain "respective" recognition by their piers...and some of them live in dark alley of the society...just seeing their eyes lurking at their new target is enough to creeps me out...because honestly, some of them do have quite a "stare" if you know what i mean...I always pledge myself to approach this group as often as i can to provide my insight of their doings, but sad as it seems, their personality do comes in sets which lured me towards the wrong side of the fence very much often...Those smiles and greetings proves to be just a mirage and those warm gesture of "listening s" does not even switch any sparks into their "acceptance"...I do get pissed off sometimes by their hypocrisy but i can't seems to dodge my way out on retrieving their moralities back to the realities of the world...I just feel sorry for them..I really do :-(