Creating A History of My Own...!!!

No One Deserves More Than I Do...!!!
I always belief in myself..always clings on the truth that happen in front of me...always find some goodness in every lies within me...seeing me enjoying the blessed life and pray for it to never end...and by giving all those thoughts, i can firmly state that "there is no one better to have myself's intention rather than myself..." won't you agree?
I mean, even though this statement is a little bit cliché in the sense of "bragging about yourself" but in my case...i beg the differ :-p All this time i always seek for others approvals and in the end making myself becoming further away from my own self..so where is the good in this?
The more i try to please people, the more I becoming this "person" which I don't even know him myself...He smiles like I do...he greets like I do...and he sounded like I do...but he is not me...!!! Somehow in this game of leveraging "what people's want" torn me apart from my own self...and making me lost in my own world :-( Who's to seek for help? is always the question mark....but truthfully the answer should lies within me...am I right? No amount of support can go through if you are individually blocked yourself from receiving any of them....Smiles does have a good way of covering your heart content...I don't actually believe it until I use it myself...but I guess it still shows :-(

Moving Ahead....!!!
Those people whom I admire always soar the sky with charisma, intellectual and poise...but I never actually ask myself "How much is their sacrifices taken in order for them to stand tall like that...?" They surely have problems of their own...and their life must be wracking by those bulls and horns of the public...judging and judging all their successes must be tiring...in this case, "pleasing" those voices seems appropriate...but for what cost? and for what benefits? I guess in the real world...the hardest things to do is not "trying" to be someone else...but more or less, it's harder to be "yourself"...I know that some people might say that when you've reach at some levels...or some positions in life, then you can mold whatever things according to what you want...hence you can finally be "you"...but the cycle continues to effect the others which trying to find themselves in the process too...so now you are the "bad guys"...haha :-p
Would I go that far in my own selfishness? would I kills someone else dreams just for the sake of mine? or would I just let go of the things which I dreamed for the sake of others? (but surely this will make me go back at the point where I please other people instead of mine...am I right?) So where is the justice in this? I guess this is what we call "Life"...it has never been equal to anyone...and those people whom triumph is actually the most "selfish" of them all...Should I be the same?

Clearer Vision...!!!
It seems that the more I ask this question, the more confuse I became...and the logic suddenly shifted towards the negative sides of the world...can you blame them (or more importantly, can you blame yourself...?) for all this wrongdoings? and selfishness? because this could be you...!!!
Since I was little, all the grown-ups seems to be talking about "searching for yourself" and now I think I know why...because people are different when you place them in one giant plastic box...am I right? They all wanted to stand out from the rest...thus the competition become fierce and brutal...this make me wish that I'd never wish myself to be a "grown-ups" so fast...because initially those wishes are meant for the "luxury" of decision makings...and money...but now those dreams has turned to an regretful nightmares...!!!
I never wanted to get involve in any of this...but I guess when the time comes, you need to step up and be a real man about it...facing this world of today's seems quite a challenge...especially when you are alone...yes! I do have family to cheer for whatever things that I've done...but If things went out of hand, then I would never wanted them to get involve or play any part of it...

"If I die and go to hell, let me be stay there alone...because one thing that makes me sad the most is seeing the ones that I care following my footsteps...If I meant to be in some other places which is good, then let my journey be a tale to tell...This is my journey...This is my story"  

by: One_Love