Creating A History of My Own...!!!

No One Deserves More Than I Do...!!!
I always belief in myself..always clings on the truth that happen in front of me...always find some goodness in every lies within me...seeing me enjoying the blessed life and pray for it to never end...and by giving all those thoughts, i can firmly state that "there is no one better to have myself's intention rather than myself..." won't you agree?
I mean, even though this statement is a little bit cliché in the sense of "bragging about yourself" but in my case...i beg the differ :-p All this time i always seek for others approvals and in the end making myself becoming further away from my own self..so where is the good in this?
The more i try to please people, the more I becoming this "person" which I don't even know him myself...He smiles like I do...he greets like I do...and he sounded like I do...but he is not me...!!! Somehow in this game of leveraging "what people's want" torn me apart from my own self...and making me lost in my own world :-( Who's to seek for help? is always the question mark....but truthfully the answer should lies within me...am I right? No amount of support can go through if you are individually blocked yourself from receiving any of them....Smiles does have a good way of covering your heart content...I don't actually believe it until I use it myself...but I guess it still shows :-(

Moving Ahead....!!!
Those people whom I admire always soar the sky with charisma, intellectual and poise...but I never actually ask myself "How much is their sacrifices taken in order for them to stand tall like that...?" They surely have problems of their own...and their life must be wracking by those bulls and horns of the public...judging and judging all their successes must be tiring...in this case, "pleasing" those voices seems appropriate...but for what cost? and for what benefits? I guess in the real world...the hardest things to do is not "trying" to be someone else...but more or less, it's harder to be "yourself"...I know that some people might say that when you've reach at some levels...or some positions in life, then you can mold whatever things according to what you want...hence you can finally be "you"...but the cycle continues to effect the others which trying to find themselves in the process too...so now you are the "bad guys"...haha :-p
Would I go that far in my own selfishness? would I kills someone else dreams just for the sake of mine? or would I just let go of the things which I dreamed for the sake of others? (but surely this will make me go back at the point where I please other people instead of mine...am I right?) So where is the justice in this? I guess this is what we call "Life"...it has never been equal to anyone...and those people whom triumph is actually the most "selfish" of them all...Should I be the same?

Clearer Vision...!!!
It seems that the more I ask this question, the more confuse I became...and the logic suddenly shifted towards the negative sides of the world...can you blame them (or more importantly, can you blame yourself...?) for all this wrongdoings? and selfishness? because this could be you...!!!
Since I was little, all the grown-ups seems to be talking about "searching for yourself" and now I think I know why...because people are different when you place them in one giant plastic box...am I right? They all wanted to stand out from the rest...thus the competition become fierce and brutal...this make me wish that I'd never wish myself to be a "grown-ups" so fast...because initially those wishes are meant for the "luxury" of decision makings...and money...but now those dreams has turned to an regretful nightmares...!!!
I never wanted to get involve in any of this...but I guess when the time comes, you need to step up and be a real man about it...facing this world of today's seems quite a challenge...especially when you are alone...yes! I do have family to cheer for whatever things that I've done...but If things went out of hand, then I would never wanted them to get involve or play any part of it...

"If I die and go to hell, let me be stay there alone...because one thing that makes me sad the most is seeing the ones that I care following my footsteps...If I meant to be in some other places which is good, then let my journey be a tale to tell...This is my journey...This is my story"  

by: One_Love

  

True Happiness...!!!

Is It For You Or Others...?
Have you ever wondering about it? I mean, have you ever ask yourself "why do I feel happy...?" and "Who makes me happy...?" It's odd to actually stating the fact that "I'm happy because of me..." or "I'm happy for myself..." is it? Usually we feel happy because of those "other" factor which makes us feel good about ourselves...admit it...you are happy for "someone" or "something" else....not because something that happen within you or towards you...It's the fact :-p The real reason of "us" feeling "happy" is because something had been done by someone else or happen to someone else...thus create a chain reaction towards your emotions deeply...I do believe that those reason is because you have some deep feeling towards that "someone"...or "something"...
My theory is that, when you see (or hear) news about that "someone" or "something", which positively triggers your inhibition, those tears will dried..and those smiles will shines...then your "true happiness" will emerge...this so-called "statement" might been put as "cliche'.." but to those whom always think that their "happiness" is based on their own "conquest", this would be something for you lot to be taken seriously....Such as myself, been wondering and searching for my own "little" happiness is somewhat ridiculous if I were to think that I would achieve it by myself...thus, seeing other's journey surely will get me to somewhere which I suppose ably belonged too :-)

How Do We Tell...?
That's is the real question that all of us need to discover...because for me, it has messed up my life for quite some times...the journey that I've taken so far seems so far away because I didn't have any clue of what I should be expecting...I always clinging on something which I see or hear from someone else...and in my own mischievous mind, those were regarded as "Happiness.." but is it true? Does those so-called "happiness" of them can be compare to what I should be getting? or mine is less? or more? how can I measure those?
Seeing people with kids...wife...family...is always be seen as what "we" should be getting...but in the end, how many of us is actually "happy" after getting there? There will always be a problem along the way...but does it solve your "doubts"? will it kills your lust for "more"? Will it stop you from going further? because if it is not, then it means that you are letting go of your "happiness" for someone else? am I right?

The Hole To Be Fill...!!!
Our heart will always have that "one spot" which seems loss or unfulfilled...and we will always searching for those "filler" to mount the gap...but in the end, we are created with a hole...which is destined to be fill only with the right "insert" which the reason of people like me are born...It's sad to be created different than others...but in the end, we are all the same...just the way we see things are different...
No matter how big or small your goals in life are...and no matter how high or low your expectation in life were...the journey only will lead us to one destination...fast or slow is the question...and it depends on you on how you judge those whom been left behind as when you pass them by...will you lend a hand? or just walk away...it's your choice...because in life, the choice that we made is the one whom determine the road we will take...and the people that we will meet...for me< my happiness lies in those road not taken...and I plan to search for it even if it takes me a thousand year :-)

~Please Wait For Me~

 
  

Selfie...The True Iconic Gesture Of Our generation...!!!

The Walk...!!!
Just the other day when i was chilling at this mall...my vision has been captivated by these "mock-building" of a China-town at the center of this place...and whilst i oozing around the view from far above, i see this groupies of girls taking photos which spout funny all over my face...So, i smile...then giggles...and afterwards i didn't realize that I've been laughing my ass off by seeing those girls...(i think one of those girls realize me doing that and tell her friends to stay away...) haha At first i was captivated because one of the girls looks really cute right? so i kept on staring at them...but i didn't realize that by observing them would open up another rationality inside my mind...which is a plus for me...(hence the giggles) :-p
The funny part of this story starts when one of the girls tried to take her picture by asking her friends to help with the camera (it's a smartphone actually)...and whilst she's getting ready, she strike this "Stiff-Pose" which hilariously funny...i think she want the picture to look "natural" but in the end, her awkwardness seems prevailing the idea...But there's more....!!! Then the girl tried to stand at this small stage settings which kinda at the center of the crowd...and she were there like five minutes trying to avoid any unwanted background which seems impossible when you are shooting at a public places right? So there are this "hand signals" which says "wait...wait..." followed by some head gestures of "nodding"...plus the "mime" which i don't think that anyone whose can do "lip-reading" can decipher....haha
Then comes a Chinese couple casually pulls out their phone and start to take a "we-fie"...which for me is the correct way to do it...because you are not suppose to care about what people thinks about your action in public right? people will always judge, so just do your thing and get on with life...haha :-p But i can see why those girls are so scared off...basically the way they take their selfie is by making this so called "cute faces" or "duck-faces" which for me is reallyyyyy funny....and one of the girl is holding her own camera and pose this "worried faces" which for me personally is kinda ridiculous (but still immensely funny)...I really have a good laugh that day...seriously I do...Thank you girls...you've made my day :-)

The Odd Feelings...!!!
I just never get it...why does people would want their picture to be like something else rather than capturing what they truly are? Some people that I've met even tried to take some extra miles to edit their photos which for me is bloody genius (i want to do it too...) Haha I mean, I always take a bad picture, but it doesn't compensate of what I would do if I want to see myself as a perfect being..right?
For me, if your picture make you look fat, then you should loose weight...not crop or spin the dice with the adobe Photoshop's settings...!!! If your picture made you look distress, then you'll need to go out and find something which will make your picture more cheerful the next time you take it...that's my logic...and i think it's a basic of all basics...some people want their fairy tale to live with less effort to be taken care off, which make you a "cheater" rather than living "honestly"...
They say that "a picture can tell a thousand words" right? So why would you go for those happy story only? because the negative ones need to be told too....only then you will have a "balance" life...don't you think? Aside from that, those people whom act "good" or "bad" whilst their picture taken is also falls under my "annoying" list :-p You want to know why? because you're a douche...!!!Pretending to give away donations....holding a baby...even those whom snap their own picture whilst reciting the Quran is also considered as a douche in my list (no disrespect intended)...I mean why? why would you take those picture? what's the logic behind it? to whom you want to show it too? and for what benefits? There are some people that I know that would ask someone else to snap his picture whilst he is praying which make him sooooooo freaking unbelievably douche bags of all time in my list...and it makes me sad...I really do :-(

It Used To Be Simple...!!! 
The old days, picture are taken in a group more often because we can't afford to buy extra "film-negatives"...and we were very careful of what we "snap" because of the limited opportunity...going to the Kodak's store and have the negatives processed already cost us weeks before we can enjoy the pleasure of "seeing" ourselves in those pictures...and guess what? we could not even imagine how the picture looks like until it has readied...sometimes its devastating when all the picture taken are blurred...and we would get mad at the one whom taken it...haha I miss the old days...what a journey it has been...and now, the scene has changed...and people would "snap" almost anything...and don't forget those social media which make this "sickness" spread like butter...hence comes the "selfie" culture...
Don't get me wrong...I have nothing against "selfie"...what I have a "thing" with..is the way "we" do it nowadays...and the intention of doing it pulls the trigger even more smoothly...I really hope that people would "snap" out of this and be who they are suppose to be...(and people keep bashing me and tell me that I'm living in a dream land...how about them?) Think about it will you?




  

The Chronology of "One_Love"...!!!

The Beginning...!!!
Well, i start off since i was 10 years old...i know that some of you might think that i'm telling a lie, but actually i'm not... :-p I used to pick up a use-up books (that still have some leftover pages) and draw anything that comes into my mind (usually cartoon character and such)...and trust me, my drawing is bad...haha I'm so bad, that if i draw a straight line using a ruler, it will still looks like crap :-p but i never actually see it...i don't know why....i kept on drawing and drawing...because it is something that i love...most of the time, my friend (which i hate the most because his drawing is so good) and I would compare our so-called "art"...and it turns out that mine were just an "F" addition...you know what additional is that? mine are the "FART" of his "ART"....haha
He can draw a pair of "eyes" and make it look sooooooo beautiful....but when I did it, it turn out like those Warner Bro's bunnies...yup!!! I suck at it :-p
I think around my "Standard six"period which I totally decided to stop...because the gap between me and that friend of mine is so huge, he been doing those "Murals" and "Portraits" whilst me still struggling on the combination of colors (I'm such a douche right?) - The funny part of this stage of my life is that, the reality just not as fun as what you'd pictured it inside your mind...I learned that even though you suck at something, there is no stopping unless you decided to do it on your own...and being able to stand side by side with that son-of-a-rotten-papaya is always a honor (but i forgot his name already...) :-p

The Mentor...!!!
My dad is always an inspiration when i started to do this gig...he is my "English" teacher...every single day he would torture me with verbs...vocabs...words...tenses...gosh, it was like he is trying to piss me off every time i tried to have a peace moment in front of the telly...he would question me those "lines" of the actors by simple said "what does it mean?" I hated it to bits...There were a lot of times where I'd raise my voice towards him and ask him to "shut up" - In reality, is not that cruel people...because even though I've "tell" him not to...he would just ignore my request, get mad at me for a couple of hours...and start back at point zero...it was like he never listens...I do regret those things that I've done since he is no longer here with me...but if i could change the time back, I would still do the same thing (I guess that is the only moment where I can actually have an actually son-to-dad-conversations...) So yeah...I would love to do it again all over...muahahaha :-p


The Writing...!!!
I still remember in my high school days, i would sit alone in the class room during recess period and write something up...i don't care whether it is a poem...stories...or lyrics...i just keep on writing like crazy....and this one time, one of my closest friend during those days realize what I do...and what he did is, he comes and approach me and said "what are you doing?" I replied "just some lyrics..." He looks kinda impress by it and started to ask me to sing my songs to him...because he wanted to hear...and of course I was shy right? and reluctant to do it...but he keep on insisting me to do so which finally made me give up and just went with it...and he was like "Gosh man...you should record this..." and all other complement...I was like blushing my way through that, and after that day, he would stay with me every now and then just to see how i write those songs...It was good at first...but after quite some times, it gets a little bit annoying...and i just stop to write songs...until recently of course :-) - The best part about this relationship is that, after that year has ended, me and him becomes "pen-pals" and we would write to each other every now and then...but it stops completely when i started to do my diploma :-(

The Music...!!!
It was an accident...I'm not lying when i say this...seriously :-p I met with this friend of mine when i started to stay in the school's hostel. We were really involve in "laziness" during that time :-p It was during SPM period and all the other students were like "study to death" right?....but for us "lazy-bunch"...books is the last thing we wanted to see before bedtime...haha So basically what we do is that, we would just play around during "Prep" time at night...just chilling...drooling...and many other crap-ish activities imaginable (we would also climb the school's water tank at night...)
But on this fateful night (which will change my life until today), this one good friend of mine started to brag about how awesome it is to learn how to play a guitar...and of course for "us"we would "awe" and inspired to do it...but in the end it was me and him whom genuinely stays...and that lesson didn't stops there too...because every now and then, when i have the time during weekends, i would go to his house and play guitar with him...(but he is really skillful which annoys me more...) haha
I don't have my own guitar during those days...so what I did was, I grab this "T-Ruler" which looks like a shape of a guitar "neck" and i would dry-strum it as if it produces a legit sound (it was so stupid...) but, that is how i start...so live with it :-p

Now...!!!
Well...I still living the dream...I not saying that i want to make it as a career indefinitely, but it won't hurt to think about it right? Right now I am writing a blog...which i would never imagine myself doing it (due to my laziness)...and i'm writing songs...which is cool if it was ten years back hahaha :-p
Slowly, but surely..I'm living my childhood dreams...I don't know how many years it will take...but for sure I'm happy with what I have right now...Alhamdulillah :-)




        

Begging For Happiness...!!!

Please Stay....!!!
These words describe a thousand one reasons which would never be a good one to kiss and tell to anyone...especially those whom have bargained more than what they are worth for...its sad to prolong something which is not subtle hence the chronology sprout like crazy....Crying seems a good way to clear those things up...but what happen when all the tears dried up? would you still gonna morn over it? Would you always think that when they saw you down on your knee, then the sympathy would turn into something miracle? Toggling over those patriotic act might work in the early stage of a relationship....but as the time flies...the burden just weighing more than what you can handle...a simple mistake would end up the relationship like it was nothing...sad isn't it?
There are more than just one way to end up a relationship...but the only one that i could think off is by "pretending that you care..." Its is the cruelest thing anyone could ever done towards a person...and slowly it will show...and things can get pretty ugly when it does :-p But that's life...when it decided that both of you already have enough "fun" together, then slowly all the "memory" will be trashed by the most ridiculous microscopic reasons of all...and for the "ungrateful" sides...this things will shaken their heart thus running away seems the best way to do at the moment...then the only left is the one whom "honest"...and God knows how sad it was to them...waiting...and waiting for miracle to happen...day by day...looking at the phone...checking the mail...scrolling their pages...just to get some hint of those miracle...and did it happen?  

A River Of Tears...!!!
There is a saying..."God removed him from your life for a reason...why chase him back..." Its sad....and devastating...and embarrassing....and traumatic....and delusional....and haunted for anyone whom forced to end their relationship for no reasons....(or some significant reasons imaginable) but arguably, these facts only counts for those whom in a bad relationship? where does that coming from?
Saying "hi..." is not enough when you are in a loving relationship...but when thing goes wrong...even a slightest memory of them seems like a bad idea...am i right? The places that you've been....the songs which reminded you at him/her...or maybe the smell of their cologne seems hauntingly brutal for your soft heart to take in....i guess drinking at "Brunch" alone seems not a good idea now isn't?
But for us (guys)...we never shed a tears (we only sweat our eyes....) haha, so i can't really tell how awful it is to cry your way to valentine's day....because it's uncanny for someone whom didn't have any sort of experience to talk "on-behalf" am I right? but as suppose to the topic is related, sadness is sadness...no matter how huge the problem is...or whom does it effects too...for those people whom felt it, those so-called "problems" is the biggest things that's happening in their life...so learn to respect them too....

God Knows Best...!!!
"No worries...never waver...keep on living..." is what i kept telling myself...because it's hard to find someone whom "honest" enough to tell that stuff to you...especially when you're down on your knees...and cry your river out...deep down inside i know that Allah knows best for every single things that happening to me...and those whom around me...so why bother to "overwrite" His work...i might be better off just focusing on the "living" part...and try my best to give the biggest smile every single day onward...
It seems easy on paper, am i right? but let me tell you the truth, it was hard as hell...and nothing comes easy when it comes to "pretend like you're enjoying your life" rather then actually accept it...so i respect those whom manage to "pull this off" and living their life as happy as it can be...because you'll never know when the next "blows" would come across...so everyday i kept on praying...and pray...and pray...for good things to happen....but i don't mind if those bad stuff wants to tag along too :-p

~Because I believe....I really do... :-) ~