How time flies…!!!
Oh my god..!!! Has it been a year already? Gosh…how time
flies when you stop looking at the clock…am I right? I guess it’s about this
time around when I first step into this blogging “craze” and started to write
my first “confession”…and as I recall correctly…I was soooo sad and mad at
myself during that time…let it be about love…and life…I was so desperate to
express my feeling which led me decides to let the world to decide it for
me…haha
I just receive my (I don’t know how many) freshly remorse…I
keep on blaming myself and almost all the time pointing finger at myself for
all the wrong doings of others…I was young, and naïve…and always care about
what people think about me rather than what I suppose to do to myself…gosh..!!
What a rally…haha
Right now...i think the door has open itself for me to explore
myself more deeply…i have made a lot of progress in finding “who am I” for the
past year…and I must say to myself that “I really feel good about this…”
Sometimes you wonder where you supposed to be and when you suppose to do it….Am
I right? But when you already started (like what I’ve did) the question
suddenly change to “where do I stop..?” haha
Boooo whoooo…!!!
No more crying…no more mourning…no more hoping….no more
depending…I just have to state this facts to those people whom tries to take me
for granted…because I’m a new man now J
I’ve changed….no more “old me…” just accept the facts guys and girls….
If you ask me personally, do I really hate my old self so
bad that I’ve decided to abandon it just like that? And the answer for it is “I
don’t…” and who says that I decided to change myself totally? Haha
What I mean by “no more old me” is just an expression of
those weaknesses that I’ve shown to those whom doesn’t worth for it…and how I
wanted to improve myself to better lead my life than what I’ve done in the past
J I have to understand
that I’ve make mistakes…and those mistakes seems irreversible…(people are
talking about me…what can I do about it?...) Instead of trying to make them
stop…I decided to make them talk more about me by making myself better…I think
it will do me more good than harm…don’t you think?
My 26 Years Old Cracked Mumblings…!!!
I’m old….i’m not 18 anymore…(not that I have a cool teenage
life to begin with…) :-p but I do miss it once in a while…not having to think
all these grown up problems ….living my life as free as possible…keep on
wishing for those “fairy tale” ending…smiling every morning…listen to my moms
and late-father’s voices every day…Feed my cats….watch my sister fighting each
other at dawn…looking at the stars after the heavy rains…feeling the heavy wind
across the paddy field…eating ice cream at the side of the road (whilst acting
cool when doing it..) laughing at the old man tripping after scolding me and my
friends for fooling around…being chase by mad cow for no reasons…catching fish
with my bear hand at the river….fighting over whose have more “super power”
with my friends after watching our favorite action heroes series…climbing those
tall fruit-trees and fall down after miss-grabs a small branches…getting my
tooth pull out by the “evil dentist” during my primary school days….get stood
out from class when I fail to complete my school exercises…being pinch by my
teacher because I was so loud in the class…laughing out loud when seeing my
friends get an IV injection during our school days…and many more..!!!
I wish I could remember all those sweet memories…but I guess
something are meant to be just for my heart to feel…my eyes to see…but not my
conscious to kiss and tell about it…haha
My New Year Resolutions….!!!
Where to start I wonder….well, I have a lot of stuff that I wanted
to do this year which I feel kinda wasted if I only focusing only on one thing…am
I right? Hmmmm but if I wanted to rate all of them in one go...i would say that
the most preferable thing that deserve my focus the most is “My family”…I wanted
to payback to all of their hardship and patient in being besides me all this
time…
Well, this year alone, both of my younger sister will
continue their studies on a higher ground…and my mom isn’t getting any younger…so
I guess trying my best to fulfill her wishes may ease up her pain a bit…Getting
my life together is one of those small things that I need to do in order for me
to get these stuff done…
Maybe seeing someone special might put a spark a bit in my
life…getting to know someone that could be my soul partner is also one of those
moment that I’ll be looking forward this year…haha J
Get a steady job…that have decent pay could spice my single
life even better…getting all those stuff that I’ve envied the most might be
among those list in my “To Do” item…not to mention travel across this nation
would be nice…wouldn’t it?
But what can I say the most about this 2014 is that it will surely
bring me more adventures and exciting life experience ahead…new friends…new
environment…new status…I just can’t wait…I just can’t :-p
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