Have you ever wonder "why can that guy bought that really expensive car?..." or "how on earth that person could travel to places even though he didn't look like much..." Funny to add, because i keep on comparing those people with my family during those time (which is wrong in every level)....and at one point of time, i even question myself and my fate...and this has created a lot of confusions, and dissatisfaction throughout my childhood days...when i asked my mom or my dad about those stuff, and their reply would always be the same "not everyone have that chance in life...." or "we should be grateful of what we have..." I do understand our situation at that time..and i accept every bits of it since i can't make any changes about it...but what about now? Can i still make that difference? Can I change my own fate?
I Dream A Dream...!!!
Is it wrong to dream big? My religion and the people around me always say the same thing, "It is just enough for you to achieve something that can make you feel happy..." but what if "happiness" for me lies on those dark tunnel? What if i'm destined to do more than just being a regular person? What if...? (or do i understand it wrongly?)
I wish that someday I'll be able to touch the sky..and to hold those dream I've longed for..and be among those who achieved theirs...I can see that we will all laugh at our old mistakes...teasing each other's stupidity...see a lot of flashbacks...and drop tears at our previous sufferings and losses...even now i felt that I've lost so many things in life...but I need to keep on moving forward...to that very special place that only a certain people can enter...to the land of the dreamers...
Age Is Just A Number...!!!
I know that being at my age right now doesn't seems that bad to start something...but I'm pretty much sure that even though for the next 10 to 20 years ahead...if I failed to achieve my dreams..I will always be proud of myself...telling a lot of stories to my children..and my children's children....and I will make them annoyed by my story telling session...and they will keep on asking why didn't I achieve my dreams..and I will tell them those things I've done..and the thing's that I haven't have the chance too...and up to a certain time, when they are old enough to chase their's...they will come to ask me my advice and stuff...and when they do..I will give them my best...treat them and train them to not do the mistakes I did..and to do the things that I suppose to do...
Just something that I would like to achieve before I close my eyes for good...before I breathe my last breath...before I can't say any words at all...I really want to see that someday, my children's smile...and their laughter...that very special look on their face as if they are saying "I am proud of you..." Because that is the face I should have done to my dad...the one that he didn't really get the chance to see (because I keep on hiding it...) I wish that I've done that...and I'm really wish that he realize how proud I am for him...the things that he have done..the suffering and hardship...It does put a tears every time i think about it...
~A true man doesn't show his tears in front of their love ones...because if he did, then they will start to cry too...and of all the horrible things that he has seen, that is the only thing he wishes not too...~
